Okay, I know that Thursday is no D-Day, and that it's Thursday somewhere in this wide world of ours... but it's sure as hell not Thursday here yet, so I'm going to post about my craptacular day.
Really it's Tuesday's fault. Why? Because Tuesday was the first day I was left alone to care for two kids plus diabetes. And Tuesday went so well that I thought I was the most amazing person in the world. Seriously, I couldn't have choreographed a better day... great numbers, the D-monster behaved, Mattias slept like a dream, dinner was all set to go by 10:00 am, Elise was well-behaved and the best helper I could ask for. It was all so beautiful.
Then I went to bed and the sun came up and lo and behold Wednesday was upon us. And everything that could go wrong, did. Mattias wouldn't sleep, in fact all he did was scream. And he peed through a diaper all over my clothes. And screamed the entire time I was in the shower, cleansing myself of the urine. Elise's attitude was as bad as the summer heat in Texas. I think all I ate today before dinner was a piece of toast. And let's not forget how I sliced open my toe tripping over a chair.
Elise's BG was on a roller coaster ride the entire day. After her morning snack, Eileen got in on the act and showed me a 96 with double arrows down. The meter showed 81. After 5g more and 15 minutes later, Elise was 72 on her meter and Eileen said 80 with double arrows down (this is also after a 15g snack). Mattias was in his bassinet, screaming to be fed. But I couldn't leave Elise until I got her BG up. It was awful... my heart was being ripped in two listening to Mattias cry.
All I wanted to do is sit down and cry, but there wasn't even time for that. Tonight we went up to our church for dinner and all it took was one friend asking me how I was doing for the water works to start. And they've been off and on all night. Even poor Jessica had to listen to me blubber.
I know... there will be good days and bad days, but this one just took all the wind out of my sails. Perhaps it was just the let down from my triumphant Tuesday, I don't know... but I just feel like I've been knocked down and I don't even want to get back up.
But I have to. Because D doesn't take a day off, and so neither will I.
10 months ago
Big hugs to you...I can't imagine having a brand new baby and having to deal with D as well. Two kids is tough...I've got to say. My older daughter spent the night at my mom's house the other night and my husband and I were *amazed* at how quiet and easy one child was! (even one child with D!)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you had such a craptastic day!! You can call on me anytime - please don't forget that!!
ReplyDeleteI remember when my second son was born, how hard that transition was. I remember at the time looking back and thinking "what the heck was I complaining about with ONE?" and we didn't have D in our lives!! Holy cow!! When D did enter our lives, my youngest was 6 months old, trying to learn D and take care of a 6 month old and all else was insane...not sure how I did it! But us Dmoms do it!!
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, cut yourself some slack. It is hard to hear your baby cry but as long as he is safe, take care of those lows, take care of yourself, all will be good in the end.
Hoping your Thursday is more like your Tuesday and your "Wednesdays" are fewer and far between!!!
hugs!
((hugs))
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you are having a rough day! I am not sure this will make it better but it is HARD with 2. I always feel torn between what one needs, what I should be doing and what I need. YOU ARE A GREAT mom and it is okay to be overwhelmed. Do what is vital and let the rest, rest. There were many days in the begining of 2 that I dont think I ate till 10pm. This for some reason didnt take my weight off but still. IT IS HARD but you have to not be so hard on your self. If it makes you feel better Ill admit I thought I might need meds at some point. but then slowly you will get a routine down. YOU WILL BE OKAY! I am here on the East Coast up all hours too if you need me.
ReplyDeleteOH JO!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYes, my friend....yes there are days like this :(
I remember vividly the fury of D and a newborn...did it twice. I wish I could give you some tips -- it's all blurry now. I have moments that I remember things vividly, but it's just all kind of lumped together and I can't dissect it. Between nursing all night and blood sugar checks, I seriously had no idea when one day ended and another began.
But I do know this. YOU CAN DO IT!!! I believe in you. I have faith in you. And I know that those sweet babes feel like the luckiest kids in the world to be able to call you "Mommy".
Much love!!!!
Oh sweet Jo, hang in there. I cannot even imagine the new born into the mix of d with a preschooler...
ReplyDeletesigh...
Know I am thinking of you and your struggles. There will be good days and crap-frickin' (I kept it clean for you) - tacular days. Know you are loved and supported and D is like dealing with a mental patient...it is always on his terms, his way...and it can be frustrating.
(((HUGS)))
Hugs and love sweet Joanne. If you lived closer I would bring you a casserole and some help. I am sending loving vibes your way instead and the faith, always the faith, that tomorrow is another day and that you are a strong woman who can do this. Love to you.
ReplyDeleteOh, big, big hugs, Joanne! That transition from one child to two is so tough! I can't even imagine having D added into the mix. I know when Leo was born, I gave up on cooking for the first six months or so. Everything we ate was pre-packaged! It's tough, but give yourself a break and don't stress the little things. I wish I lived closer and could come help you out! Don't be afraid/too proud to accept help from those around you who are offering!
ReplyDeleteWe all feel your pain. It seems like those craptastic days are coming more and more often. It makes you wonder when it will hit the fan when you have a good day. Keep doind what you are doing. You are doing a great job, and we all know that!
ReplyDeleteWow, that is a craptastic day. I am so sorry. :( Hope your Thursday is much better! I can't even imagine how hard it is. Hugs to you!
ReplyDeleteI feel like an AWFUL friend for missing this post!!
ReplyDeleteThe perfect storm always finds a way to take away your thunder. You are amazing! One day at a time. I'm sorry you had a tough one. Don't let it get you down! If you have to leave Mattias for a few again...call me and put the phone by his ear. I'll sing him a lullaby. It will sound like hell, but my boys always liked it!
You are wonderful! Rinse and repeat!!