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Monday, March 23, 2015

Different kind of same

When Lucas was approaching 6 months old, I turned to the Internets to see what was new in the world of baby food.  I had made all of Elise's food from scratch, but never did with Mattias because he pretty much refused to eat anything.  But I was pretty sure Lucas was going to be a great eater and I was looking forward to making my own food again.

As I delved into the murky waters of mommy-dom on the internet, I started reading about a new trend; baby led weaning.  This is where you pretty much give your baby whatever you are eating, except in baby-sized pieces. I even saw pictures of babies gnawing on the bone of a pork chop.

Excited, I set out to try baby led weaning.  Except that Lucas hated it.  Hated. It. Everything I gave him, he gagged on.  I had made him a few purees at first and he did great with those, but if he fed it to himself, he just couldn't eat it.  Not wouldn't, just couldn't. So I went back to making purees for him.

One of the things that bothered me about many of these pro-BLW sites is how they put down people who fed their babies purees; calling it "gross" and "old-fashioned".  One blog pooh-poohed the "bizarre and disgusting food combinations" that people fed their babies.  They led you to believe that BLW was the ONLY way to feed your baby.
He eats like this now, but it wasn't always that way
You may be wondering why I'm writing about this on a diabetes blog.  It's because the attitude I found on those blogs is so similar to something I see from time to time in the D-community (not just on-line, but in person too); and it really bugs me. It's the my-way-is-the-only-way-and-all-other-ways-suck attitude.

I have had people question my pump choice, my carb-counting choice, my doctor/hospital choice, my insulin choice, and even the way I approach life with D (the optimistic vs. realistic way people deal with diabetes).

Someone once told me I was a bad Mom for letting Elise be on NPH.  I had another tell me that the Omnipod was awful and they would never use it on their child.


Luckily as a Mom with three kids, I knew the BLW sites don't know what's best for me and my kids, and that I should follow my gut.  And I am thankful that I feel confident enough in my choices and my D-skills to know what works for Elise.

But what about the rookie Moms out there? And the rookie D-Moms?  I've always said that having your child diagnosed with T1 is like becoming a new parent all over again.  There is so much to learn, and it can be frightening.  You're afraid that one wrong move might irrevocably harm your child.  And there is so much information out there that sometimes it's hard to know what is best for your child.

When it comes to giving advice on diabetes, I now wait until I'm asked for my opinion.  It wasn't always that way, when I first met Laura I was high on the power of carb factors and I just HAD to share it with her.  Like a teenager gushing over her first kiss, I went on and on and on (and on) about how awesome carb factors were.   And I probably acted like it was the ONLY way to count carbs.  Luckily, Laura found what worked for her and didn't shun me for verbally vomiting all over her.

The way I look at it is that diabetes is not a "one size fits all" disease.  Just like there are different ways to parent, there are different ways of managing your child's D.  If you are new at this and trying to find your way, there will be lots of trial and error, but you will find your path... I promise.

And as frustrating as it can sometimes be having so many options (and not knowing which way is best for you), there is beauty in choice.

We all do it differently, but it's a different kind of same.


5 different D-Moms.  All doing it differently.
And rocking it in their own way.

8 comments:

  1. Thank you, thank you, thank you. My youngest was diagnosed a little over a year ago and my 14 yo was just diagnosed 20 days ago. My 14 yo has a T1 buddy from school and he and his Mom have said we were using the poker wrong, doing the shots wrong, shouldn't be using alcohol swabs, etc...luckily they weren't "mean" about it but my 14yo didn't need to hear all that as he tries to navigate all this. I've told him he will even be different from his brother. To try and not take offense but to just do what works for him.

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  2. I love this Jo! So true, having Isaac at a school that is "medically designated" we get to be with many other parents of children with diabetes. There are so many things we do differently than one another, however we all are trying our very best for our child with the tools we have available to us and the experience, too. I believe that one of the interesting things for our family is another family there has a parent with diabetes along with a child and their perspective is much more similar to ours which goes to show how having a parent with d really does have an impact on not only care, but also attitude toward care. Anyhow, thanks for sharing this I think we all need to know that our "right" is just fine for us. Hope you have a lovely Spring week :)

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  3. I really think this is fantastic, and so spot on. Great words of (not) advice:)

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  4. I so get this post. In the end you know what they say opinions are like, but I also hate the my-way-only-way-best-way of thinking as well :)

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  5. well I POOH-POOH those other POOH-POOH-ers!!

    this is so true! YDMV and all that.

    love that photo! :D

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  6. You are SO right! I think weak people need to vomit their ideas on others because they more they recruit, the righter they are.

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  7. All so true, and I just HATE when people bombard the "newbies" with information!! They need time for emotions first and processing all the care tricks later on once Diabetes calms the heck down! (Does it ever really calm down? Haha)

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  8. Love this and Love you! It's a different kind of same! xoxo

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