Let's bee it up, yo!

As a parent of a kid with type 1, I've had to deal with a whole range of things that don't even enter the minds of non-d parents; whether it be at a sporting event, on an airplane, or something commonplace... eating dinner at a restaurant.  Sometimes I look around and wonder how much extra stuff I think about, and what it must be like to have all that extra space in my brain.

Case in point... The Spelling Bee.  A milestone of consonants and vowels for every elementary student, and where dreams are crushed by a single misplaced letter.

Elise recently took part in her district's regional spelling bee.  In Spanish. I love that my girl can spell in two languages, while I can barely manage one.  It's humbling, really.

The thing with spelling bees is that they have really strict rules when it comes to the audience.  You can't make it look like you're communicating in any way. So all my pantomimes for "check your BG", "eat something!", and "do you feel okay?" would not be well-received.

Since this was her second bee, I knew to talk to the head-bee lady (queen bee... hee), explain our situation, and figure out a plan.  But that doesn't make the non-stop monologue running in my head go away during the competition:

Check the CGM. Okay, 154 flat.  Not bad.  How much insulin on board?  Crap, she just dropped by 9.  Should I give her something?  How much insulin on board?  When did I bolus her for breakfast? 6:15? Hmmmm, should be about .75 left.  How many spellers before her? WHAT THE CRAP WAS THAT WORD?  What if the adrenaline kicks in?  She'll be so mad if I go up there and hand her some smarties.  And what if the other parents think I'm cheating?  I DON'T EVEN LOOK REMOTELY LIKE I SPEAK SPANISH! CGM check again.  Great, now she's 133.  How much insulin now?WHAT KIND OF LETTER IS BAY-GRANDE???  Did she spell it right? WAY TO GO! To give sugar or not to give?  Another drop, but not so bad.  Let's just wait...  

I could go on, but I feel a minuscule peak inside my head is quite enough.

You guys get it, but nobody else sees the tightrope we walk every day; every scenario can has the potential for a sucky outcome. 

Don't treat, and she goes low.  You have to interrupt the competition which makes her upset and throws her concentration (not to mention the low can make it hard for her too).

Treat, but then the adrenaline kicks in, sending her even higher.  She has trouble concentrating because her BG is now in the 300s.

Thankfully, that day I did nothing, and it looked like this:

It doesn't always work this way, but on spelling bee day, it did.  And got her a tie for 4th out of 35 kids.  And the last non-Hispanic to go out.  Pretty proud of my girl!  And I love it when she can do something and not even have to deal with diabetes getting in the way.

She's pretty A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.

And she's off!

Today Diabetes decided to give me the big ol' double middle finger.  I woke up to find a nice 235 staring back at me on the meter.  Of course on all the days leading up to this one she had been waking up in range.

But never mind that.  There is a reason I wake up super early... So I can catch these high BGs, pre-bolus, and make sure she's on her way down before breakfast. All in plenty of time to get her off to school.

So that's just what I did.  Except...

Except THIS morning I received a Bolus Interuptus in the form of a shrieking pod.  The PDM tells me all but .05 was delivered, but that's what it ALWAYS says.  I think the PDM likes to lie sometimes.

But all is well.  The pod was changed, breakfast consumed, and one very happy girl got on the bus and made her way to first grade

All the while, I know she's doing okay.  

We've come a long way, baby.

Reading, Writing, and Advocating

I've told Fred several times since the beginning of school, that I would probably fail Kindergarten if I took it now.  Gone are the days of naps, snacks and learning not to eat glue.  One time Elise came home with a project that she had to collect different types of leaves, group them, and then write comparative sentences about the leaves.  

Whatever happened to finger painting?

Anyway, her latest project was to make a paper doll out of an inventor, complete with a 3-D version of their invention in the doll's hand.

There were examples for her to choose from, or she could come up with one on her own.  She didn't care for any of the choices, So I asked her what was something in her life that was importnant to her.  Her first answer was, "family"  (awwwwwwww).

We talked some more and then her whole face lit up.  "I know Mama... INSULIN!  That is SO important to me! Can I make a doll of that doctor guy from Canada who invented insulin?" (swooooon)

So let me introduce to you Elise's Dr. Banting doll... complete with Humalog in his hot little hand.

This is one project that will make it into her keepsake bin.

What a difference a blood sugar makes

Elise goes to a school (public) where every child gets and Ipad.  Yeah, I know... don't even bother to leave a comment about that as I've probably already muttered it under my breath like the crazy person I am.

Every day, she has math homework.  It involves using an app on the Ipad, and on each day of the week she's supposed to use a specific app.  Last Wednesday was the first day using one of these apps for her homework.  The app was a timed game that she had to pick two numbers; the sum of which was ten.  The game operated like Tetris... there were tiles along the bottom with numbers, and a tile with a number would appear at the top.  If you correctly matched the number, the two tiles would disappear.  If you didn't, it added to the pile; which added a line every 15 seconds or so.

Elise started playing and quickly became unraveled.  I knew that SHE knew this stuff, so I made her put down the Ipad and I quizzed her on which numbers went together to make 10.  She aced it when I questioned her.  Back to the game she went and what followed was a meltdown of epic proportions.

She wailed and flailed; saying she couldn't do it and she didn't know anything... everyone could do it but her.  Again, I made her put the Ipad down until she could cool off.

Then I went to look at her CGM.  She had been in the upper 100s when she started, but was now double arrows down.  I checked her BG and she came in at 71.  We treated and decided to work on her reading homework instead.

Fast forward to this week.  Wednesday and the same offending app was her homework.  She was sitting at a nice flat 103, and  I explained that I didn't want to see any behavior like that from last week.  She went on to not only breeze through the stuff that gave her so much trouble last week, but several higher levels as well (sum of 15, sum of 20, etc.).

The reason I write about this is so people will understand what a huge influence BG can be on how Elise acts.  Highs, lows and big fluctuations can cause her to become unglued, and it's why we have provisions in her 504 that states no testing when her BG is out of range.  This always surprises people; even people who have kids with Type 1.  I'm not sure why, but nobody ever gave them this information.

Elise is about to test for the Gifted and Talented Program at her school, and I'm hoping that her BG will play nice.  Either way, I am so proud of how hard she works and doesn't let diabetes stop her.

nothing to do with the above story, I just love the fact
they are wearing mixing bowls on their heads as construction hats

Pop Quiz

Put your books away, it's quiz time... can anybody tell me what this is a picture of?

If you said a picture of a Dexcom, you'd be right.

If you said a nice BG, you'd also be right.

If you said a pretty sweet 3 hour graph, that would be correct too.

But the picture doesn't tell the whole story.  In that 3 hour time period that is displayed on the dex, Elise received NO insulin.  None. In fact, when she dipped into the red, she got 6g of carbs.

Today was Elise's first field trip, and she was just a wee bit excited.  The nurse went along and just after noon, she called; pod alarm.  Basal stopped.  Crap.

I had just come home after picking up Mattias from school.  He was starved and exhausted.  I also had a very hungry and tired baby.  I knew Elise would HATE it if I had to come and change out her pod in the middle of her field trip (the nurse doesn't do pod changes per our request).

Thankfully, Elise was on the low side... hovering around 100.  I told Nurse K to watch the dex, and let me know if she started to rise and we'd figure something out then.

It turned out, nothing needed to be done.  Elise made it all the way until she got home.  Her BG was 113 and a ketone check (just in case) showed 0.2.

The knife through the heart was Elise's thought on the whole experience, "Mama, it was like being a normal kid again!  I was just like everybody else!"

Cue big, sad sigh.  Followed by tears when she wasn't looking.

Damn you, diabetes.  Damn you to hell.

***this is NOT medical advice, and I am not a doctor, although I watched a heck of a lot of ER when it was on TV.  What?  I thought Dr. Carter was cute.  Anyway, you should never follow my example and not give our child insulin for 3 hours.  Seriously... DON'T DO THIS.  This was a special circumstance and a unique experience.  

Fake Pancreas, out.

Thankful Thursday: Nurse K

We had some school nurse drama before this year started and it made me nervous.  Lots of things seemed up in the air, and then we found out a new nurse had been hired.

We met her at our 504 plan meeting, and felt very comfortable with her from day one. She is open to feedback, willing to learn and has made learning about D a top priority.  

This morning she called during Elise's 9:00 am check:

Just wanted to let you know that Elise is 210 (this is a good number for her at that time of day. It's 2 hours after breakfast, and where she usually tops out at.  We like her to be between 180-220. That way she usually lands around 100 by lunch), but the CGM is saying slightly down.  I know this is a bit early for her to start going down, so I'll keep my eye on it.

Then she called again at 9:45:

I forgot to tell you we have a weather drill at 10:00 and I'm going to be all over the place, so I thought I'd go by and re-check Elise.  Her CGM is saying 117 slightly down now, so I thought I should give her some fruit gummies to be on the safe side.  

I love how she has learned Elise's routine.  She knows what is normal for Elise, and is starting to get comfortable with what actions to take.  She doesn't call me every check, just when something is up and she wants to double-check on what to do.  And I am so confident in her abilities, that I don't get stressed out when I haven't heard from her... it just means that all is well (we do use a logging app, and she tries very hard to enter the info as soon as she can, but her office is a zoo most days.  I've seen it myself!)

Elise loves school.  She is thriving. This separation has given her confidence that she will be okay without me. And Nurse K has given me the ability to relax and let go.

Today I am thankful for those who care for our kids when they are away from us.  

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Just a reminder... if you want to order a World Diabetes Day shirt, please do so as soon as possible!  If you left a comment on my first post, I still need you to email me your order.  Click here for a step-by-step ordering process.  And please get the word out to any D-peeps that you think would want one.

Having The Talk

No.  Not THAT talk... I think we're a few years away from that.  At least I hope we are.

No, this past Friday I went to Elise's school to give my own mini Diabetes 101 talk to her classmates.  I wanted to make it fun, interesting, and something they could understand.  The last part I had a little trouble with.

When it comes to diabetes, Elise is "reading" at probably an 8th grade level.  But I needed to explain type 1 in a way that a classroom full of 5 and 6 year old with NO diabetes knowledge would understand.

And I'm happy to say that it worked!  I prepared a slide show on my iPad with a mix of pictures of Elise, and pictures that helped to illustrate diabetes.

I actually had to give the talk twice, because Elise is in a dual language program.  So my first stop was the Spanish classroom.  It was a little tricky stopping for translation, and it was hard to find a flow to the talk, but the kids really seemed to enjoy it.  I ended my talk with Four Things I want you to Know About Type 1 Diabetes; one of those things being you can't catch diabetes by being Elise's friend, by hugging her or giving her a high five.

The best part was at the end of the talk when Elise and I stood up to leave, all the kids came forward and wanted to give Elise high fives and hugs.  Seriously... HOW CUTE IS THAT???

Our next stop was her English classroom.  The talk went much more smoothly this time and the kids loved all the personal pictures of Elise. We even got to show them a blood sugar check in action when the dex was showing Elise at 90, slightly down in the middle of our talk.  Her BG was actually 95, so they got to see why Elise gets to eat Smarties in the classroom from time to time... something they were very curious about.

They even asked some great questions at the end; can she swim with her sensor and pump?  If you can't catch diabetes from someone, how did Elise get it (Oy... try to answer THAT one on a Kindergartner level)? How does Elise sleep with her pump on?

At one point in my talk, I explained low blood sugars to them, and asked them if they could could be my special helpers.  If they ever saw Elise acting silly (or sillier than normal), or if she fell down and didn't get back up, they needed to get an adult right away.  I was happy to see they were really enthusiastic, and felt very important.

Since Elise will be with the same kids for the next 6 years, I most likely won't have to do The Talk again for awhile.  Which makes me kind of sad... I really enjoyed it with my tiny teacher by my side.

School Daze

A while back I asked for advice on some school issues, and I was so thankful to everyone who replied.  Not only were your comments insightful, they left me feeling like I had some focus on the matter.

I finally did call up each school to try and set up an appointment, only the school we are not zoned for (which is the closer school) wouldn't even talk to me unless I called the district first.  Even then, they wouldn't know if they could enroll Elise until 1 week before school started.  Ummmm, no.  That's a deal breaker!

So we set up an appointment for the school we are zoned for, and took Elise.  I was a little wigged out by how secure the school is.  I mean, I understand (and am very saddened by) the need for it. But it makes me a little antsy being locked away from my kid that way.  Is it just me?

Anyway, we met with the nurse and the principal and were so impressed by what we saw.  We spent two hours asking questions, and felt pretty good about their answers.  The nurse is very business-like (but had great rapport with Elise), and is very, very pro-504 plan.  In fact, she said they had a T1 show up last year (he's no longer there) without one and they very quickly sat down with the parents to get one in place.

And the part that has us feeling pretty good about this being the school for Elise?  The nurse's brother is a type 1, who was dx'd at the age of 3.  He now lives with her and she helps care for him.

All through Elise's short schooling career, I feel like everything has just fallen into place; her first pre-school teacher had type 2. Her second teacher (who she also has for her last year of pre-school), has been amazing and does such a great job of taking care of her.  Our pre-school has worked with us to make sure we feel comfortable and Elise is safe.

And now the nurse in her new school has t1 experience.  Really, what more could I want?

I do have a few more questions as I start thinking about Elise's 504:

• For those of you who pod, where do you keep the PDM?
• Is it normal that you cannot just tell the nurse to make a change on the fly? Like cancelling a temp basal that you had started before your child left for school that morning?  It sounded like anything the nurse does (aside from straight-up bolusing, or correcting using the pumps suggestions), has to be approved by the doctor.
• Can you put into the 504 that you have the final say in daily changes and the nurse doesn't have to contact the doctor for those?

If there's anything else you think is important, please let me know. I do plan on looking at sample 504s, but I'd like to know provisions that you guys think are the MOST important. 

The dilemma

I cannot believe it, but the time has come to start pondering kindergarten for Elise.  How did this happen? Wasn't it just yesterday that she made her grand entrance into this world? Shouldn't she still be babbling and cooing, all snuggled in my arms?

Isn't she due for a diaper change right about now?

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

Okay... Focus.

So. Kindergarten. And the dilemma. Once again I need your advice.

We are zoned for what I will call "school A". This school is about a 10 minute drive from our house. The kids in our neighbourhood take a bus (this will not be an option for Elise since there is no way I will put her on the bus at such a young age) to get there. In years past, it didn't have the best reputation, but they now have a new principal and things are turning around. My neighbour who sends her kids there says it is wonderful. A former neighbour who teaches there says the same.

"School B" is about 2 minute drive from our house. Although Elise couldn't walk there because she would need to cross two very busy streets, it is a lot quicker to get to AND right across the street from the preschool Mattias attends. It has an excellent reputation, and is an "exceptional" school (I think that's what the ranking is called). There is also a ton of parental involvement.

I was told I could petition for Elise to be sent to the closer school for medical reasons, and I so I was thinking of talking to the principals/nurses/kindergarten teachers at each school to see who I get a better vibe from.

 And this is where I ask you to help me with my dilemma.  What should I ask? What is important to know? What would ask if you were me?

I really want Elise to be in a school that will care as much about her as her preschool has (although I'm pretty sure that's impossible, her preschool rocks!). Right now I'm not leaning either way and I'm waiting to talk to each school before I form an opinion.

So if you have any pearls of wisdom, send them my way!  Please help me DOC... You're my only hope.

***At this point, if I had mad photo shopping skills, I'd include a picture of my head on Princess Leia's body.  But since I lack the talent and time, do me a favour and picture it in your head, m'kay?***

The first of the last

Today was Elise's first day of her last year of pre-school.  I am so thankful for the amazing pre-school she attends, and that the only prep I needed to do with her teacher (which is the same one from last year) was the teacher emailing me a few days before school started saying, "Anything new I need to know about?"

My answer?  "Nope!  See you Wednesday!"

I know... I am spoiled.  Ms. A jumped right back into things like she had never stopped.

Since Elise's birthday was yesterday, and Mattias's is Friday (it was his first day too!); I sent cupcakes to school for their classes.  Elise's BG at snack time? 336.  Did she eat her cupcake anyway?  You bet.

Numbers-wise it wasn't the best first day, but both my kids came home happy and excited about school.  I call that a win.



Come on... how cute are they?



So I'm pretty much an idiot

I found this post in my drafts folder. It made me laugh and look stupid at the same time. May it give you a laugh and make you feel better about yourself.

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I've been reading a lot of the back-to-school posts with some feelings of smugness. Those feelings have nothing to do with the other bloggers. Rather I had gotten so comfortable with our back-to-school situation that I had left a giant ol' ass-print on it.

And now it is my turn to freak out.

It started with a letter we received in the mail from Elise's pre-school teacher, Miss A. "Wait a minute," I said to myself, "Elise doesn't have a teacher named Miss A. Her teacher is Miss T. The same teacher she had last year. Who knows all the D stuff inside and out."

I'll take a helping of denial with a huge side of crap-on-a-stick.

What had happened is that Elise's old teacher, Miss T had unexpectedly decided to not return. The whole thing happened rather quickly, and the school did not have a chance to inform us ahead of time.

About two weeks before the start of school, the new teacher came to our house to meet Elise and for a rundown on her care. She left with wide eyes, her mouth permanently drawn into a little "o", and no doubt wondering what the crap she had gotten herself into.

I blame myself for closing the show with a little number I like to call, "When glucagon is your Friend."

So here I am, with less than a week to go before school, gearing up to become a whirling dervish of angst and crazy; updating Elise's care manual, making new lanyards, stocking an emergency kit, and freaking out that I am going to hand over my baby girl into the hands of someone that has only had a 60 minute crash course on type 1 diabetes.

All that pre-letter smugness is gone. Message received, diabetes, I will try not to become complacent like that again.

Now I'm off to draft her 504 plan... grades k-7.

***Just wanted to add that everything has turned out fine, Miss A is doing a great job caring for Elise, and all the staff at her school are wonderful. This is Elise's pic from her first day of school... moments before she burst into tears.

The day the beta cells died

Three years ago today, Elise was diagnosed with diabetes.

The call to take her to the hospital came in the middle of her birthday party.

She was 12 months old.

So how did Elise's pancreas celebrate? I think by completely quitting on us. The amount of insulin we have given her over the last few days is incredible.

We gave her TWO shots in the middle of the night. That is unprecedented.

We used full strength to correct her. Also unprecedented.

She spent most of the night in the 400s, only dipping into the mid 200s after a 1/2 unit of full strength.

Today was also her first day of school. She felt awful. She bawled when we left her. She was high the entire morning.

Today I hate diabetes just as much as I did 3 years ago.

This picture was taken right before Elise's diagnosis. As I searched through the pictures from that time period, I was hard-pressed to find one in which she was smiling.

School report card

Can I just say that I LOVE Elise's pre-school? Not only have they been so accomodating to us, but have gone out of their way to help us out.

Fisrt off, Elise's teacher (who is type 2), printed up a slip of paper that she writes Elise's pre-snack BG, how many carbs she ate, as well as her pre-playground and post-playground numbers on. She then gives it to us at the end of class so we know exactly what went on with Elise's BG while she was away from us. Her teacher did this completely on her own and with NO promting from us!

Then, as I was dropping off Elise today, the teacher pointed out the Mom who is bringing snacks for the Fall Party on Thursday (more on that in a second). I needed to know a bit more info on what she was bringing.

The mom described what the snacks were, and then APOLOGETICALLY said, "I know, they're pretty carb-heavy... I'm sorry."

Holy crap-on-a-stick, did she really just say that? Turns out she had gestational diabetes and her FIL has diabetes as well (not sure which type). She then said she would be happy to bring something with fewer carbs. Wow.

Here is my delimma about the Fall Party. The school usually gives the kids their snack at 10:00. The party is at 11:00, during which they will get another snack (what the mom is bringing). As you may know, Elise is on NPH, which lets her have a 15g uncovered snack at around 10:30 (on school days we just let her eat a bit early), then she has to eat lunch pretty much at noon (right after school is over), when the NPH is in full effect (the downside is the strict schedule, the upside is one less shot).

Sooo, what do I do? My thought is to let her have a carb-free snack at 10:00 (so she doesn't feel left out at snack time), then go up to the school and try to figure out the carbs in the party snacks. The hard part is, 11:00 is really too close to lunch and it will make the rest of her numbers so screwy. Plus the snacks (Halloween chex mix, pigs in a blanket, and rice krispies) are bound to send her BG through the roof. I think like most of what I do, I'll just have to wing it and give my best WAG.

This new chapter in our lives has us looking at our pump options. We always said we didn't mind the strict schedule of NPH as long as it worked for us. Well, it's starting to not work. Unfortunately, when we inquired about pump classes we were told there isn't any availabiblty until March. Looks like I'm going to have to get a bit pushy.

I guess our next step is to pick which pump is right for us. That should be easy... NOT!

We did it!

After reading everyone's advice, and a call to Elise's doctor, we decided to send her for her first day of pre-school. The clincher? When she cried after we told her she wasn't going to school this morning. Yeah, she has us wrapped around her little finger.

She did amazing and never even looked back when we left her. I, on the other hand bawled like a baby.

Diabetes-wise, everything was okay... she has been high since yesterday, and remained high throughout the morning. Even this afternoon we're having trouble bringing her down. But high is better than the alternative.

Right before I woke up, I had a dream that her BG was 742 and her ketones were 9. Can you tell I was a bit stressed about the whole situation?

The best part? She absolutely LOVED it. She told me her favourite part was cleaning up, and she made lots of new friends one of which she danced with. And I got to spend some unhurried snuggle time with Mattias. I think I could get used to this sending-her-to-school thing!

Check out these cute pics of Elise:

Come on Mom... let's go!


My little pre-schooler


Does she look ready?

Now she's not so sure

Take this D and shove it

Elise starts pre-school tomorrow, and I'm a bit freaked out. And yes, a lot of it is due to the fact that she has never been apart from me (aside from the time I was in the hospital having Mattias).

But most of it is because we have not figured that freaking full-strength insulin crap out. And I'm a little frustrated, can you tell?

I can give her the same dose at breakfast, same food, same EVERYTHING and she either goes crazy low, or crazy high. There is no in between with this stuff. Plus her blood sugar is roller-coastering all over the place. Today, only 45 minutes after breakfast, she went down to 63 and skyrocketed to almost 400 after lunch. I didn't go crazy on the carbs for the low, because she was 132 right before her lunch.

But on other days, she stays in the 200s right after breakfast up until about 3:00 pm, when she starts to go down.

I don't get it, and I am so afraid to send her off to school if she's having these lows (which she does every other day or so). I don't even know where to start to make changes and I freaking HATE the fact that we can't even turn to the CDEs for help.

I think the worst part is how it's affecting her behavior. If she's sporting any kind of attitude or throwing a tantrum, it's always when she's rising or falling fast on the Dexcom. It's getting downright nasty these days and we're kind of at the end of our rope on how to deal with her.

Part of me wants to go back to using diluted, because we never saw her numbers roller-coaster like this before. But I know we just need to try and figure it out. Right now is just a bad time to be doing it.

To top everything off, Mattias has reflux something terrible. He spits up at least 5 times after every feeding (that's per side, not the whole feeding). He is so miserable all the time, even though he's on medication. I think yesterday I changed his outfit 8 times and it seems that all I do these days is laundry.

I don't think I'd be as stressed about this if it wasn't for the fact she was starting school tomorrow. How do you guys handle making adjustments on days when your kids are away from you? Should I keep her home until we somewhat get a handle on this?

Man oh man... it's a "diabetes-can-suck-it" kind of day.

A new chapter

When I was a kid, I used to go to my best friend's house all the time. I remember in the entrance way, right by her front door, there was a painting of a deer, with the inscription, "If you love something, Set it free... If it comes back, it's yours, If it doesn't, it never was.

Every time I read that, it struck my little 10-year old brain as very sad. I don't know why, it just seemed so empty to me, so without hope. I guess maybe I focused on the last part too much.

Now that I've given you a glimpse into the beginnings of my little glass-half-empty mentality, I'll get to my point.

Remember that pre-school I blogged about a few weeks ago? Fred and I went to visit them last week, and were very impressed with what we saw. The director took us for a tour, and asked a ton of questions about Elise's diabetes, and what their role would be if she because a student there. About a week later we received a call saying they would love to have Elise come to their pre-school!

Today we met with the lady who will be her teacher. We were told that she had type 1, but it turns out she's actually type 2. To me, it's no big deal... she knows how to check a BG, she understands about carbs, and she seems so on top of things. She even took it upon herself to do some research before the meeting.

We went over Elise's needs, showed her the CGM and all of Elise's supplies. We even had a low BG while we were there, so it was good for her to see how we treat it. I was impressed at how proactive she was, especially when she asked if she could check Elise's BG during the meeting (at a time we would normally be checking, of course).

The school was ready for Elise to start this Thursday (tomorrow), but we're still tweaking her insulin since the move to full-strength and I don't feel like we have it right yet. So Tuesday will be Elise's first day of school!

And now that inscription has taken on a whole new meaning. Yes, I am afraid of letting her go, but I love Elise. And she needs me to let go of her so she can start to find her own way in this world. Yes, even at the tender age of 3, she needs to start taking those baby steps towards independence. And because she is mine, I can always feel confident that she will come back.

Especially since she will be so loved and well cared for while she's away.

Dream a little dream

Elise and I both have a dream... it's the same one, but for very different reasons. We are both dreaming of pre-school.

She dreams of going to school because she is so curious about what goes on there; like it's a wonderful place where all you do is play princesses while riding unicorns and playing with leprechauns.

I dream of shipping her off because if I have to hear the sentence, "Moooom, let's plaaaaaaaay!" one more time, I just might start laughing like a loon and run off down the street; never to look back. I may or may not be naked in this scenario. It's not the sentence itself; it's the fact that she says it every two minutes or so. And even if you are playing with her, and (God forbid) turn your attention to anything else (like a phone ringing), she will say it again; louder and with more emphasis and syllables on the "play" part.


I had never really given pre-school a second thought. It was just too scary for me to drop her off into the hands of the uninitiated for any amount of time. But since Mattias was born (and the arrival of Eileen), I've had a change of heart.

I've been watching Elise, and I see how she absolutely glows when she's around other kids. And how she loves to learn and experience new things. She has grown up so much in the last 6 months, I figured she was ready.

I found out about a church in my area that has a pre-school. A friend of mine sends her daughter there, and they love it. And, it's right up the street from us. Literally, right up the street; it would take me 15 seconds to drive there, or about 5 -10 minutes to walk with Elise. When I called them up, I learned that one of the teachers was a T1 diabetic. Could it be any more perfect?

Except, because it's a little late to be enrolling her, they have no room. But that's not what has me down. They told me that because of her birth date, if they did have room they'd put her in with the 2 1/2 year olds.

When I went to school, if you were born in a certain year, you were in the same grade as other kids born in that same year. Except here, they have some mysterious cut-off that Elise misses by a few days. And that bugs me.

If you've ever met Elise, then you know that she is extremely mature for her age. She's been talking in full sentences since before she turned two, and her vocabulary is better than some 5 year olds. Why would they put her in with kids that would hold her back?

I tried to explain that to the assistant director of the pre-school, but she said that they were firm on that rule. I wonder if it would have helped if I told her that Elise was born at 41 weeks gestation and her actual due date would have been before this magical cut-off.

Can anyone who is in the education field explain this to me? Why do schools do this? Shouldn't it be on a child-by-child basis? Or am I making to much out of it? I don't know why, but I feel like Elise is being unfairly judged.

Perhaps I should just keep looking. But this school seemed so perfect, that I don't want to let go.