Dear Meri

Like others who have written posts for Meri and her family, this has been turning over in my brain for days now.  But the "putting pen to paper" part has been so much harder.  Funny I can do.  Amusing? Not so hard.  It's the words that mean the most that are the hardest to say.

I think I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing.  Or saying too much.  Or not enough. But I've been told the most important thing is to just say it, so here goes...

My dear, sweet Meri.  Of course there are no words for the sorrow I am sure you and your precious boys are feeling right now.  I cannot even fully describe the hurt in my heart, so I cannot imagine your pain.  I am so sorry for the loss of your wonderful Ryan.

I only met him once, so I count myself blessed for having known him.  Almost 3 years ago, you invited our family over for dinner at your in-laws when we were in the SF area.  I can still remember the amazing prime rib Ryan whipped up.  But even more, I remember the warmth and the love that exuded from everyone there.  There was calm amidst the chaos of feeding 4 type 1 diabetics and I was just so in awe of how everyone worked together and helped each other.  I learned so much from you and your family that night, and I am a better D-mama for it.

I still remember Ryan's presence from that night too.  Not the presence of someone who is loud and commands attention; but the quiet strength and joyful spirit of a man who has everything he has ever wanted.  His post on Meri's blog (in which the phrase "who the hells needs grammar" almost made me pee my pants from laughing so hard), is one of the sweetest things I've ever read.  Like I said, I only met him once, but I will miss him.

Meri, you are so loved.  I hope you know that.  I think if it were possible, the entire DOC would have flown out to be there on Saturday.  And I hope you know that you and your boys are in my thoughts and prayers constantly.

Love you my friend,
Joanne

Please, if you have the means to give to this family who has not only lost a husband and father, but the sole income provider, please click on this link and give what you can.  And keep them in your prayers.

Things I learned from Diabetes this month... August edition

-It amazes me how incompetent, poorly trained, and ridiculous the TSA are.  I mean, I have heard stories, but never expected it to happen to us.  The story is still forthcoming and it makes me see red each time I think about writing it.  If anybody knows the right forum to file a complaint, I'd like to know (I know it's out there, I just haven't had the time to research it).  Meanwhile, I think I met a bunch of monkeys at the SF Zoo that could do a better job than the agents we interacted with that day.  Oops, excuse me... that's an insult to the monkeys.

-After almost 4 years, diabetes can still make me cry.  I have an upcoming post about that too, but UGH, I had forgotten how angry and sad it makes me sometimes.

-Travel with D just plain sucks. I knew this, but our SF trip was a reminder.  Don't let this observation discourage you, but prepare you for the fact that even if right before you leave you are having the most amazing run of number you've ever seen, travelling will (more than likely) promptly screw that up.

-We stayed a few nights in a hotel when we road-tripped down to Santa Cruz and unfortunately did not have a fridge in our room.  It was a nuisance and a complete (stupid) oversight on my part.  Never again... when travelling with diabetes (and kids) a fridge is a MUST!

-THIS is what 10g cho of cotton candy looks like.  Also, the pure joy of my little girl enjoying it.

-Diabetes sucks, but cancer sucks more.  I know that by now most of you have heard about my sweet friend Meri losing her best friend and beloved husband to brain cancer at the age of 40 on Sunday.  My heart is breaking for Meri and her boys.  I only had the chance to meet Ryan once, but even that one evening was enough for me to know that I was in the presence of a man who loved greatly and was greatly loved by his family.  And Meri has been an amazing source of encouragement and friendship to me.  Please, if you have the means to give to this family who has not only lost a husband and father, but the sole income provider, please click on this link and give what you can.  And keep them in your prayers.

Keep calm and miracle on

I'll never forget the first time I ever talked to Meri on the phone. Fred and I were planning a trip to San Fransisco with Elise (who was 2 1/2 at the time), and Meri and I were conspiring to meet up. I remember being nervous and excited to talk to her... after all, this was MERI!

Her voice sounded exactly like I thought it would, sweet, kind and full of smiles. About a month later, I was lucky enough to meet Meri and her entire family. Even luckier still, we were invited to dinner and were fed Ryan's ah-mazing prime rib. The man... he can cook.

Since then, Meri has been a mentor to me. The recipient of many tearful calls, the fielder of even more insane questions. If it hadn't been for her, I think we might have given up on pumping after having such a rough start.

And Meri has been there for not only me, but countless of others struggling with their diabetic life. And she does it with kind words, and smiles. You would never know the heavy burden she carries. Now it's our turn to give back to Meri and her family.

I'm sure by now you know about what Ryan, Meri and her family are facing right now. Cancer. I don't think it needs repeating. But, I did want to contribute a post and put some links up as a reminder to The Schuhmachers that we've got their back.

Today is a day of prayer and fasting for Ryan and Meri. Let your voice be heard. Not only today, not only tomorrow, but until the Schuhmachers have their miracle.

Here are ways that you can help:

If you are one of those facebook-type people, follow this link on over to the Schuhmacher Famiy Miracle page and like it (I think that's the right term...).

If you are able, consider a donation to help Ryan and Meri. Click here for the donation page.

I believe. Join me, won't you?

One week later

It seems that here in the DOC there are two types of bloggers... some of you go quiet when all is well. You don't write because, well... there's nothing really to write about.

Then there are bloggers like me. When life turns into a big ol' crap sandwich, you turn tail and hide. Words fail you. You have no energy to bitch about why you have no energy. Even commenting and returning emails are daunting tasks.

That has been my life lately. I have lost count of how many times I have cried (and believe me, it takes a lot to squeeze tears out of my baby blues. What can I say... I'm dead inside). I have cursed, stomped my feet and shaken my tiny fists at the sky all in a lame attempt to make some sort of sense of the utter crap-fest that pumping had become.

I knew it would be hard. And it has been. And then some. We're talking BGs in the 500s hard.

Two-a-day pod changes hard.

The CDEs- won't-get-back-to-us hard.

Middle-of-the-night pod changes hard.

Getting up every hour of the night hard.

I have never seen so many BG readings starting with a 4 in my life. Prior to this, I could probably have counted on ONE hand the number of times we'd seen a number that high... and it was mostly when she was sick.

All these highs and rapid rises and falls have taken their toll on Elise. Last night I noticed she was sporting some pretty dark circles under her eyes.

Yesterday, I talked to Elise's doc and hopefully we've made some changes that will help.

But the phone call that probably saved me from jumping off the ledge was from Meri. Sweet, wonderful Meri who talked me down and helped me to see the bigger picture. That woman has a way of breaking it down and making you see things the way you need to.

I am so thankful for people like Meri in my life who has walked these paths ahead of me, and understand the pain. Because she has been there, times three, and gets it. Thank you Meri, I'm feeling muuuuuch better now.

You should totally start a help line... 1-800-ASK-MERI. Because you really don't have enough going on in your life.

Pssssst, wanna know my secret?

Okay, this might not be a thrilling secret for you, but it definitely is for me. Last week, I received an email from Allison Blass at Lemonade Life saying that she and Amy Tenderich from Diabetes Mine wanted to know if I was interested in doing a guest post on Diabetes Mine.

Squeeeee!

I mean, uh... sure. You know. Whatever.

(but really SQUEEEEE!)

Anyway, it seems a lot of people like my video, "What NOT to say to the parent of a Type 1 Diabetic", and they asked me to write about how I respond to people that make those hurtful and sometimes strange comments.

And so I did.

Thank you to my wonderful husband and also to Meri for reading and re-reading (and re-reading) my post; pointing out where my verbal diarrhea needed to be *ahem* plugged, and gently reminding me that sometimes writing a post at 3 am while sleep-deprived AND sick can lead you to not making much sense (kinda like right now, I'm afraid).

And a big thank you to Amy and Allison for allowing me another place on the world-wide-web-information-super-highway to insanely ramble on.

The internet... now with even MORE Joanne!

Oh yeah... you can read it by going here.

By Jove, I think we got it!

And by it, I'm talking about the correct dosing for the Amoxicillin Elise is currently taking for her strep throat.

I knew it was the antibiotic making her run high, and not the infection, because she was constantly running high (in the almost 400 range) about 2 hours after getting her dose (breakfast and dinner). We usually see numbers in the mid-100s or lower at these times. Her numbers at other times during the day were fine.

The incredible Meri suggested adding a correction dosage to the shots Elise was getting at breakfast and dinner to see if that would help. Elise gets 1 unit of diluted Humalog for 301-400, and 2 units for 400+. I decided to start with 2 units, which didn't make much of a difference, so I got bold and upped it to 4 units. We're now seeing numbers in the high 100s. Not perfect, but I'm reluctant to up the dosage any more than I already have.

THIS is why I love my D-community!

Disclaimer: This correction dosage for Amoxicillin, of course, pertains to Elise only. Every child is different, and will respond differently to medications and/or insulin. Please follow your doctors advice, and use caution when giving your child a buttload of insulin.

Meri, Meri, Meri

I love all my D-Momma friends that live solely in my computer, but I've always been particularly drawn to Meri.

Part of it is her story; 4 boys, three of them with diabetes. How does she do it? How is she not insane by now? What is her secret?

The other part is just plain who she is; funny, sweet, quick with encouragement and a kind word. Her writing would make me laugh out loud and I always thought that we would get along famously if we ever met in real life.

Luckily for me, that happened this past week during our trip to SF. We first met for lunch, and there was never any awkwardness at all. It was like two old friends who had A LOT of catching up to do. I loved hearing about her life, her family, and I started to see why she is able to handle such a crazy life.

Then, Fred Elise and I were invited to dinner at her in-laws. If you're ever in the Bay Area, and you get an invitation to dine with Meri's in-laws... DO IT! In a word, yum.

Once we were there, and had met everybody (Ryan, his Mom and Dad, Ryan's sister, the kids and Lawton too!), the puzzle pieces all fell into place. Meri's secret is simply this; she is an amazing woman, surrounded and supported by amazing people.

And I was lucky enough to spend some time with them. Thanks Meri, I had a blast and can't wait until we meet again!