March Madness

Nope. This is not a post about basketball. The title just seemed very apt for my life lately. A lot has been going on, hence the hush that has befallen my blog. Most of it falls in the not-so-good category. If this keeps up, I think I'm going to loose what is left of my mind.

The Not-So-Good:

-Mattias has gone on strike. Nursing strike. Eating strike. Pooping strike. I wonder if he thinks I'm trying to poison him... the problem is, he will not take a bottle. He hasn't figured out the sippy cup. My options are pretty much limited. Today, I used a syringe to feed him because he hadn't had any fluids in about 6 hours.

-He also won't take my pumped milk. I have high amounts of Lipase (an enzyme that breaks down fat) in my milk. About 20 minutes after my milk is pumped, it starts to taste soapy. He refuses to drink it. The only way to get rid of it is to scald the milk right after pumping it. To say it's a beating is a bit of an understatement.

-All this nursing stress (combined with the other stuff) is causing my milk to dry up. I'm doing everything I can to keep it up, but it's not easy. Plus, if my milk does dry up, how on earth will he eat, considering he won't take a bottle or sippy cup?

-Elise's numbers are going crazy. Trying to find a spare moment to sit down and look over her logs is hard.

-Fred is travelling a lot lately. It sucks doing this all by myself.

-No bites on the house yet. Not even a nibble. We've had three showings and it's been really rough getting the house in order and trying to get out of the house while it's being shown. The other day, it was booked for TWO FREAKING HOURS (over lunch time... great). Towards the end, Mattias was so tired and I needed to try and nurse him, that I just went home with 20 minutes to go. Thankfully they weren't there. To top it all off, their critique of the house was, "we don't want a two story". Then why the %*&! are you looking at my house WHICH HAPPENS TO BE A TWO STORY? STOP WASTING MY TIME!!!

-I'm am just one big ball of stress. My jaw is permanently clenched and my shoulders reside somewhere up near my ears. The littlest thing will set me off. Like the guy who ran a stop sign to cut me off and get in front of me in the drive-thru (then proceeded to give me the finger when I honked at him). If not for little eyes, I think I would have jumped from my car, pulled him out by his nasty white wife-beater, yanked said wife-beater up over his face (think hockey fight), and started pummeling him. Never cut in front of a red head.

The Good:

-I finally won something! Heidi was giving away a Daily Devotional book and a Starbucks gift card in honour of Bekah's D anniversary... and I was the lucky winner! Thanks Heidi, I've been meaning to email you to let you know that I had received both items, but my email inbox is another source of stress these days. Now, if Starbucks would only deliver.

-Tomorrow is another day. I just need to keep holding onto the fact that it has to get better... right?

That's all I've got. Sorry for the downer post. Here's hoping that I'll be back to my shiny-happy self soon (or as shiny-happy as I get).

Blurgh

I'm not sure "blurgh" is really a word, but it's how I'm feeling. Tomorrow we have our endo appointment, and usually I have a pretty good idea on where we stand. But for once, I have no idea.

Hopefully we'll get some answers on why Elise's BG is soaring and plummeting at dinnertime. She can go from 130 flat to 300 double arrows up and 150 double arrows down all in the span of an hour. That cannot feel good. We have tried all sorts of tricks (short of giving her two shots), and nothing seems to be working.

The other night when she had her skating lessons, I withheld her shot for about an hour after she started eating. She was in the 300s when I put her on the ice, and when she came off 30 minutes later, she had double arrows down on the CGM and her BG was 82. Blurgh.

(I'm even thinking of giving her a low-ish carb meal - about 20g - for dinner, and not giving her a shot at all, just correcting at bedtime on skating nights. Anybody have any thoughts???)

We'll also be discussing pumps at our appointment, and I'll be trying to weasel out of pump classes (at least one of them that our endo makes you take). A pump seems to be in our imminent future, but I'm not looking forward to trying to figure out which one to go with and then starting the learning process over again. The mere thought of it exhausts me. Blurgh.

Today Elise told me her heart hurts. What the crap does that even mean??? Blurgh.

And today is Elise's pre-school teacher's last day. Miss C has Type 2 Diabetes (dx about 1 1/2 years ago), and she's having trouble managing her BG. So she's leaving her job to get a better handle on it. If you ask Elise what her favourite thing about school is, her answer is, "Miss C!"

I can't say enough about how this woman has helped Fred and I to feel completely comfortable with leaving Elise with anyone for the very first time in her life. Because of her, we were able to take this step, and Elise is so much better for it. Miss C went above and beyond for us, and I am so sad that she has to leave. I understand, but I'm still sad. Today Elise told me, "I'm going to miss Miss C!" Blurgh.

My in-laws are coming tomorrow and my house is one big trash heap. Instead of complaining via a blog post, I really should be cleaning. So I'm off to find my vacuum.

Say it with me... BLURGH!