Goin' low

In the 10 (TEN!) years E has had type 1, we have gone through many, many different treatments for lows; bananas, smarties, skittles, starburst, glucose tabs, fruit gummies and hi chews.  A lot of times, we change it up because she gets tired of always using the same old thing.

For me, the struggle is finding something that's not filled with food dye, is portable, and is not terrible for her.  One day, as I was making my weekly Costco run, I saw this cool little product upon their shelf.  

*Not actual Costco size

When I picked it up the bag, I saw each packet had 8g of carbs... the perfect amount for E when she has a low.  I had bought their honey before, so I knew she liked it.

A few months ago, I emailed Nature Nate's about not being able to find the packets in Costco anymore.  They were quick to respond, and just a few weeks ago, offered me the opportunity to become an ambassador... woo hoo!

So, now I'm sharing my love for this product with you.  Even though I can't find the small packets in Costco anymore (they do still sell the giant 40 oz. bottle), they are available at my local grocery store (or on Amazon).

Why do I love these for lows?  

1. They bring her up QUICK!

2. They're the perfect size... they fit in my purse, her diabetes bag, and anywhere I need to keep a stash of sugar.

3. Perfect for overnight lows, I just rip off the top and squeeze it into her mouth. I haven't made a mess yet!  And I just need to say that the fact that our T1 kiddos can eat in their sleep, never fails to amaze me.

4. Healthier than most low treatments.  No food dye, honey is natural, as well as yummy!

5. My girl loves it!

Add caption

If you want to learn more about Nature Nate's and their story, go here. 

***Although Nature Nate's provided me with some sweet, sweet honey, all views and opinions are mine. The funny thing is, I had a blog post in my draft folder written awhile ago about using honey for lows!

A witch, a ninja, and Dusty walk into a bar...

Under the influence of candy and the trick-or-treating hasn't even started yet.

These blood sugars are brought to you by hours of running around and over 30g of uncovered Halloween treats.

And what you don't see?  The continued lows all night; including a 72 at 10:00 pm, a 62 at 1:15 am, and a 64 at 5:30 am.  Thank goodness we're all stocked up on sugar here.

Feeling low?

What do you do when you find boxes and boxes of Jelly Beans in the clearance bin at your grocery store?

You buy as many as possible.

And then text your fellow D-Moms in the area to alert them to the booty of low treasure that awaits them for just 45 cents a box.

It's the small things people...

Riding the basal

It all happened over a week ago.  

Crashes after meals.

Countless packs of smarties.

Lows that took three times the amount of carbs to bring her up.

Temp basals up the wazoo.

Fred and I got into discussion after discussion about what to do.  She wasn't sick.  Nothing was different.  So what the hell was going on?

Finally we decided to ride the basal.  That is, to NOT bolus her for any more meals and see what happened.

We didn't correct any highs either.

Things weren't perfect... sometimes she would go into the 200s.  But she would always correct herself;  no bolus needed.

But we also had days where she would be low-ish (70) going into dinner.  She would eat 75g of carbs; including fries and gelato. Receive no bolus.  And be 118 when we checked about 3 hours later. Total flat line on the CGM.

It dragged on.  I won't lie, thoughts of a regenerating pancreas crept  into my thoughts, but I pushed them away knowing the inevitable highs were coming.  Regardless, the word "cured" danced on the outskirts of my brain, and I allowed myself to hope.

Of course, it all turned around one week after it started.  I knew it was coming, but it was still a dagger to my heart.  I should know better.  I DO know better.  But I am also a mom with the capacity to hope miraculous things for her child. And a little part of me dies when reality comes roaring back, as it always does.

I'll be okay.  I got to experience letting Elise eat whatever she wanted and not worry about what it would do to her BG.  I still counted carbs, but it wasn't the same.  

I'll just chalk it up to her pancreas giving us a little birthday/anniversary gift.

The connection

I woke up; my heart pounding and sweat just pouring off of me.  As my eyes adjusted to the dim light of the bedroom, I realized that it had just been a dream; the shakiness, feeling dizzy, my CGM buzzing a low blood sugar and the number on the monitor coming in at 29.

This had happened before; dreams where I was the one with diabetes and I was experiencing a low blood sugar.  It always amazes me how vivid and real the symptoms are.  

In my dream I was at work, and I was struggling to tell my co-workers what was wrong. I was on the verge of passing out and I managed to spit the words, "my blood sugar..." out, when they all came running.

That's when I awoke to the dexcom screaming about a LOW that my daughter was experiencing right at that moment.  I ran into her room, and the check turned up a 56.

This is also not the first time I've had dreams about being low, only to awake and find that Elise actually is.

Once again, I am amazed by motherhood.

The girl who cried low

I have to confess, bedtime is not one of my favorite times of the day. I love the hours following bedtime, but the frenzied snack time followed by bath time, flossing/brushing teeth, story time, snuggle time... It's all very exhausting. Especially when Fred is out of town and I'm flying solo.

But what I hate is trying to get Elise to fall asleep. There's always one more thing. I finally implemented a saying, "call me if you're low and get up if you've got to go."

And it worked. For awhile. Now I can almost set my watch when Elise is going to say, "I don't feel good!" after I tuck her in. And sometimes she's right. But more often than not, she's fine. Like mid-100s fine. And I'm getting tired of it.

I've patiently explained  the boy who cried wolf story to her a million times. After tonight, make it a million and one.

Obviously, I don't want to ignore her. But I am so tired of bedtime taking an extra hour after I first put her to bed. I actually stay upstairs until she falls asleep so I don't have to repeatedly climb the stairs to answer her calls.

So what to do? The other night I got so frustrated with her I threatened to put the Dexcom back on her. Not one of my finer parenting moments, but I just don't know how to handle this.

I don't want her to feel like she can't tell me if she's feeling low, but she need to learn she can't use it as a way to stall bedtime. 

Does anybody have some tried and true method?  Come on... help a tired, pregnant Mama out.

Once upon a time... The End

Well... I'm a little embarrassed. After almost 3 1/2 years of dealing with this disease, you'd think I would know better by now.

I need to stop paying attention to the man behind the curtain.

Diabetes is always there. Pushing buttons and pulling levers. Making a lot of noise that scares the poop outta me, but in the end really amounts to nothing.

Those crazy lows we were having? They have exited stage left. Well, mostly. We're still not back to Elise's normal insulin consumption. It's a little more than half, and being tweaked daily (not abiding by the 3 day rule this time).

I appreciate everybody that took the time to comment or email me (and if you did email me, I'm sorry I haven't responded... life is ca-razy right now). I looked long and hard at Elise's numbers, but just couldn't agree that it was her basals. Her lows would ALWAYS come 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 hours after eating. When I manually cut her bolus in half, she would be okay. If she didn't eat, she stayed level.

Of course, almost as soon as I changed her settings, she swung back the other way.

What ticks me off is that I KNOW that this (weird and wacky things) happens with D. And I KNOW it will go back to "normal" at some point. So WHY do I always wring my hands and freak out the second D starts blowing smoke? And drag all of you through my crazy by posting about it?

I guess it's therapeutic for me to spew crazy on my blog. That way, I don't lie awake at night obsessing about it over and over. And, I always appreciate the support and insight I get when you guys leave comments.

And while I'm still going to run to my blog and regale all of you with the latest ways diabetes is making me coo-coo bananas, my new mantra is going to be "pay no attention to the D behind the curtain". And I'm counting on you to yell it at me the next time diabetes throws me a curve ball.

Dazed and confused

That's how I feel. Dazed and confused and wondering just what the hell is going on. We are still battling terrible lows post-meal.

On Saturday, Elise came back from her weekly breakfast with Fred complaining that she didn't feel well. She was 45. We gave her 18g and she only came up to 80. And 30 minutes later she was 55 and feeling awful. It took 2 cups (as in 500 mL) of orange juice to get her to 100 and finally feeling better. She ate a 25g lunch for which she received no insulin. Two hours later she was 132.

It was scary. I've gotten to the point where I am afraid to bolus her. I've adjusted her I:C ratio twice, and cut the suggested bolus in half. We still end up in the 70s.

To give you an idea how much her insulin needs have changed, here's what they used to be:
12a to 9:30 - 1:15
9:30 to 12a - 1:30

According to my math, this is what her new I:C ratios should be:
12a to 9:30 - 1:40
9:30 to 12a - 1:90

How can that be?

I don't know what the what is going on here. She doesn't appear to be getting sick. If she doesn't eat, she stays pretty stable, so I'm pretty sure her basals are okay. I feel out of my league here. Over my head.

And worst of all, I feel like I'm failing Elise. These past 5 days have really taken their toll on her. I need to figure it out. These ratios are far below what they were when she was on MDI.

School is looming on Tuesday, and unless I can figure this out, there is no way I'm letting her out of my sight.

Dexcom FAIL

We finally decided to slap a sensor back on Elise because of some very scary daytime lows she's been having. About an hour after she eats, her BG is in the 40s. Every stinking time I bolus her, it's the same thing.

The weird part is at night, it's like the insulin won't touch her. I recently upped her basal because by around 1 am, she would be in the 200s when going to bed with a BG of 130. Now she's in the 300s by 1 am. And I am so afraid to give a full correction because of what happens during the day. But if we don't do a full correction, she wakes up high.

We used to have the opposite problem at night... she was very sensitive to insulin. But I guess the only thing that is constant with D is change, right?

Anyway, back to the lows and the dex. Yesterday, I started giving her HALF of the suggested bolus, and she would be in the 90s after 1 hour. So I decided I had had enough, and on went the dex.

The funny thing is, I had almost forgotten how to do it. When I finally got it on, I noticed it was bleeding a bit. But I didn't have the heart to pull it off and do it again, since yesterday was also pod change day, and Elise had a friend over and wanted to go back to playing. I figured it would stop bleeding and hopefully not affect the numbers.

Everything seemed fine, except dex was a little slow on picking up the drops, but I blame this on the fact that we probably need a new transmitter.

Then came bath time and I noticed she had a LOT of blood on the adhesive. So after wearing it for only 5 hours, I pulled it off and saw THIS (squeamish alert):

Poor girl, she never cried or complained that it hurt. And it kept bleeding after I took it off. It wasn't on long enough to get any usable data, and I'm not sure if we're going to try again.

These lows are just scaring me so much. The only time I've seen this happen is when she's getting sick (or after she's been sick), but it's been going on for about 4 days and so far seems fine.

Diabetes, as usual, is causing my brain to hurt. Blergh.

Sniffles equals... low?

Once again, diabetes has managed to confound me. In my experience, illness has almost always led to higher than normal blood sugars. Except, of course, when Elise is riding the vomit comet.

But over the last few days, Elise has had a cough and the sniffles. Nothing terrible. A few nights she did cough so hard that she threw up, but otherwise she's acting fine. The only other thing she's been complaining of is a tummy ache. No ketones, thank goodness.

And I haven't been able to keep her BG above 100. She hovers in the 80s. And when I bolus her for her meals, she's usually in the 50s at about 2 hours post-meal. Last night we did a temp basal of -50% for almost 4 hours. And she woke up at 96.

Have her insulin needs plummeted across the board all of a sudden?

Is the illness causing the low?

Is the tummy ache trying to tell us that there's something else going on that I can't even bring myself to think about?

I just did a pod change and I'm very curious to see if that affects her BG at all. Plus I under-bolused her for her snack. It's times like these that I really miss the dexcom!

If anyone has any thoughts, I'd love to hear them!

More than a number

***this post is a follow up to my last post. If you find it confusing, you might want to scroll down and read "38" first.***

I don't normally let one number get me down. Oh, I used to when Elise was first diagnosed. Every out-of-range number was a failure on my part. I took those numbers hard.

Then I figured out that I was seriously lowering my life expectancy by doing that. So I adopted the mantra, "one number (or two or three) does not a bad pancreas make".

And I was able to walk around with my head held a little higher, and a stomach a little less knotted after that.

But sometimes all it takes is one number to knock the wind out of my sails. One little number; magnified by the circumstances surrounding it.

The night before the 38, I really didn't get much sleep. Fred is out of town, so I am flying solo. Diabetes and an 11 month old who shall remain nameless tagged-teamed me all night long to ensure that I didn't get any sleep. Total suckitude.

So the next night, I was looking forward to getting a good (oh, who am I kidding), a semi-decent night's sleep, when the number 38 slapped me in the face.

When it happened, I was on the phone with my Mom. The sound of the dexcom emitting it's three yelps wafted down the stairs and I started to grumble, "looks like the dexcom is going to act senile tonight too".

Because the night prior, it wasn't so much D that misbehaved, it was the dexcom who kept telling lies (tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies...). Like Elise was 89 with double arrows down when she was 161. This went on all freaking night until 4 am, when she really was low.

So I hung up the phone and went upstairs to see 81 slightly down. Not too worried, I checked her and that's when the 38 popped up. Expletives were uttered. A sleeping child was woken. Smarties were administered. All the while I felt like I was going to throw up.

Like I said, it's not so much that one number that freaked me out, but the circumstances;

It was unexpected.
When your child has just eaten 15g of uncovered snack, you don't expect their BG to go down. You just don't. How can you do battle with a disease that does the opposite of what should happen? How can I rest knowing that no matter what I do, diabetes likes to throw these curves at us?

It was night time.

There is something that is just so much scarier when these numbers occur while you are surrounded by darkness. It makes it feel more ominous. The blanket of night seems to enforce the fear that comes with lows.

I was alone.

I know that the day will come when Elise will be by herself and experience a bad low. It rips my heart to pieces to think about the fear that she may feel when it happens. I know how hard it is for me, and my senses aren't even affected by the symptoms of a low. It is far less frightening to have someone there by your side. To put their arm around you to calm the shaking. To help you catch your breath after a close call. To quiet the thoughts of, "what would I do if..."

So no... one number does not usually send me into such a panic. But sometimes events swirl into the perfect storm and that number can leave you feeling like you were pummeled by gale-force winds.

38

It's a number that leaves you shaken. Seeing that 3 followed by just one number.

Two digit numbers that start with a 6... okay. A 5? I can handle that. Give me a four... well, it's not terrific, but I can deal.

There's something about the three that terrifies me. Maybe because another time I saw a 3 and just one other number, I had to deal with an awful low. By myself. In the middle of a store. It took almost 30 minutes for Elise to come back from that one.

Tonight I saw the 38 at a time when there was no way her number should have been that low. And if not for the dexcom, I would have missed it. The mere thought is horrifying.

Let me explain something... Elise gets her night time shot at 8:00, followed by an uncovered, 15g snack. Her insulin starts to work about 2 hours after her shot. This low happened about 90 minutes after her shot. Only 60 minutes after she finished her snack.

She should not have been that low.

Or low, period.

But this is diabetes we're talking about. It doesn't play by any set rules. The only constant with diabetes is that there is none. It makes me feel defeated.

How am I supposed to hit a target that is always on the move? And when I'm blindfolded? With one arm tied behind my back?

How can anyone?

Lenny and Harold ride again

Diabetes Bloopers - Wednesday

This is not really a blooper, per se. But a not-so-funny-at-the-time anecdote that makes me chuckle now that some time has passed.

If you are rather new-ish to my insane ramblings, you might not know who Lenny and Harold are. They are Those that Shall not be Ignored. Simply put, Lenny and Harold are the little voices in my head that speak up when something could be very wrong; especially in the realm of all things diabetes.

Since the arrival of the Dexcom, they've sort of been on vacation. A much needed vacation. Although they still show up to tell me things like; on no planet does that shirt go with those pants. Or maybe I really should exercise my right to remain silent now.

But the other night, our Dexcom decided to take a powder in the form of the dreaded ???. I thought it was because Elise was sleeping on the sensor. Not so much. It turns out that the transmitter had popped out.

Let me break here and tell you that there is nothing quite so awesome as searching through a mountain of stuffed animals, blankets, and the plethora of other craziness that Elise sleeps with for a little grey hunk of plastic that is the size of an international postage stamp. It. Is. So. Aaaawesooooome.

After we popped that elusive sucker back in (another not-so-easy task), we waited for the Dexcom to calibrate.

About 45 minutes later, as I tried in vain to sleep, Lenny and Harold showed up.

"Get up! Get up! Sheeeeeee's loooooow. Come on, get your mis-matched ass (yes, I even have trouble co-ordinating my pjs) outta bed and check your daughter!"

Thinking I was just being paranoid because I didn't have the Dexcom working, I tried to ignore them. But they just wouldn't shut up. They're kinda like Charlie Sheen in that respect.

Finally I went in and checked her... 52. Well, crap-a-doodle-doo. Looks like Lenny and Harold are batting a thousand still. It's nice to know they can still be trusted.

Like the deserts miss the rain

Thank God that week is over. I've been MIA and for good reason. Fred was out of town and my kids decided to try and kill me by not letting me sleep. Every. Single. Night.

Whether is was Elise up for 3 hours crying, the dexcom alerting to numbers that were off by sometimes as much as 200, stubborn lows, or Mattias waking up every 90 minutes, which happened every night while Fred was gone. Combine all that with the usual feeding problems and it was a nightmare.

But he's back, and I am so, so thankful. He is an awesome husband and does whatever it takes to support me. Even though his flight came in at 12:30 am, almost two hours late, he came home and talked me down from a very tall ledge (for reasons I'll get to in a moment). Mwah! Love ya, Freddie!

I am also thankful for my friend Liz, who came over twice, brought me lunch, and listened as I did the "ugly cry" for two hours. She also gave me some very wonderful advice, which I appreciate even more because I know it wasn't easy for her to do, because she was unsure of how I would take it. Thank you Liz, it's the REAL friend who will tell you the stuff you don't necessarily want to hear.

I started taking a prescription drug for my nursing issues. I was very leery about taking it because of the side effects, but after learning Mattias hadn't gained any weight in 3 weeks, I felt I had no choice. It has been wonderful and awful all at the same time.

Wonderful because my supply has almost doubled and I've only been taking it for a few days. Since I started, Mattias stopped waking up every 90 minutes at night, and only woke up once to feed. Ah-MA-zing! He also seems more content during the day.

Awful because the side effects really are terrible. During the day, the fatigue is so bad I feel like I'm going to fall over. I can't concentrate and can barely form a coherent sentence. And at night I lay in bed, suffering through panic attacks. The night Fred got home, it was really bad. I had gone to bed at 9:30, and was unable to fall asleep (read: pass out from sheer exhaustion) until almost 3:00 am. I cannot even begin to explain how horrible it felt. I was so tired, but couldn't sit still. At one point I remember thinking if removed my pjs and went walking out in the pouring rain, I would be okay (yeah... weird. I know). Thankfully, Fred came home and sat with me, attempting to calm me down.

After all that, you'd think I would stop taking it, right? Not so much. I did cut my dose (after consulting my doctor) in half, but I have my reasons for continuing.

The way I look at it is this; as parents of a diabetic, we don't have to wake up 2 - 3 (sometimes more) times a night to check our kids. In fact, some endos don't understand why we do it. But we do. For our kids. For their safety. For their health. Often at the detriment of our own. Because we would do anything to avoid the unimaginable.

Now Mattias will not starve, but to me his health is at risk. He started in the 50th percentile for weight and now he's in the 10th. He has feeding issues and I will do anything I can to help him.

The good news is the lower dose doesn't make me quite as crazy. I still get agitated, but I can deal with it. I'm also not going to take it at bedtime, because that I can't deal with.

If you've made it this far, congrats. I know there has been a lot going on in the DOC lately, but I haven't had time time or energy to blog, read other blogs or comment. Those of you who are going through the fire right now, please know that you are in my prayers.

Hopefully I'll get my crap together soon. Because I miss you guys.

The tri-fecta

We've had bad sleep nights here before. That's certainly nothing new. Whether it's because of Mattias wanting to party in the wee hours of the morning, or due to BG issues or night terrors with Elise. Yup, been there, done that... got the dark circles under my eyes to prove it.

But never before have we had such a piss-poor night because of ALL THREE.

I went to bed around midnight, took my usual hour to fall asleep; and just as I was teetering on the edge, Mattias woke up to be fed. Okay, no problem.

Except that he pretty much refused to go back to sleep.

And then Elise's BG went low. And then she started crying about bumble bees in her room. Mattias was ticked off that nobody was paying attention to him. More BG issues. Dexcom beeping. More crying. Curses uttered. A failed attempt to nurse Mattias again, hoping he'd fall asleep. Screaming. Beeping. Cursing. More lows.... you get the idea.

It seemed once we'd get one problem with one kid settled, the other would need attention. And so it went. All. Night. Long. Unlike the Lionel Ritchie song, we were not raisin' the roof, nor having fun.

I think I finally got to sleep around 5:30 am. Poor Fred had a flight at 6:30 am. He left the house at 5:48, and STILL made the flight. That, my friends, is impressive.

I awoke, 2 1/2 hours later, and catapulted myself out of bed, because I realized that Elise had to be at school in 1 hour. I can't believe I actually got her there without spontaneously combusting.

So, here I sit. Sleep deprived. Tired. Alone for the next few days. Stressed. I've already had my first marshmellow/caramel chocolate egg of the day.

Something tells me it won't be the last.

Attention Target shoppers

I just got back from yet another Target excursion (pjs at 75% off... woo hoo!), and saw that they have 6 oz. packages of smarties for $1! They're located in the dollar spot with a bunch of other candy. I'm thinking that $1 for 6 oz is a pretty good price, so you might want to stock up.

Of course, your market may vary, but hopefully you'll be able to find them at your Target and stock up on some cheap sugar!

I:C Roll Call

Okay D-moms and D-dads... I need to know, what is your child's insulin to carb ratio at dinner time? Over the last 2 weeks, Elise's has been creeping ever upward (or is it downward?).

She used to be 1:20. But we kept experiencing lows, so we tried 1:25. Nope. Then onto 1:30. I was going to try 1:35 tonight, but she was 216 before dinner, so I did 1:33. She STILL went low and needed 10g of carbs to get her into the mid 100s. The lows are happening exactly 1 hour after she's done eating.

We've also had to lower her overnight NPH dose by 1 unit. We've had 3 nights in a row of battling low after low after low and getting no sleep. Each night we'd lower her dose, and we'd still have to feed her up to 25g extra just to get her into the low 100s.

I know, I'm trying to make sense out of the non-sensical. But I guess our next step is to go to 1:40. Is that a normal I:C for a 3 1/2 year old? Is Elise just really sensitive to insulin? Could she still be honeymooning 2 1/2 years later?

I'd love to hear what the I:C ratio for other kiddos are, just to compare.

If I don't get off this coaster soon, I just might vomit

As I was perusing my D-Mom and D-Dad blogs a few days ago, I noticed a common thread... there are a lot of us riding the glucose roller coaster right now. And I'm wondering what planets are in alignment to unleash this hell upon us.

For us, it started off with just dinner problems; we had to start giving Elise her insulin about 25 minutes after she started eating because if we gave it any sooner, she would drop low, we would have to give her some fast-acting carbs, then she would sky-rocket from all the extra carbs.

But it's still not a fix... as we watch the CGM we see that she holds steady while she's eating (once we had a record 45 minutes steady BG, she didn't start rising until after she had finished eating). We usually give her the shot as soon as we see the slanted arrow up appear. Unfortunately with this method, we get double arrows up into the 300s, then double arrows down. All in the span of an hour. If I give it any earlier, she crashes.

Tonight, she was 151 going into dinner. I gave her 1.5 units for almost 40g of carbs. She held steady for 25 minutes and started to go up. I gave her the shot, and in 30 minutes, she's almost at 300 with double arrows up. I looked at the CGM 20 minutes later and she's at 179 with double arrows down. And 15 minutes after that, she's 96, double arrows down. She's 84 via her meter, so I give 7g. Now I'm just waiting for the spike to happen (and it will).

My brain is so fried from trying to figure this out. This issue only happens at dinner. Her ratio at dinner is now over twice what it is in the morning. I think our next step is to go back to diluted insulin at dinner time. I can't stand to see the peaks and valleys on the CGM, but I'm too afraid to take it off of her for fear of missing a crash.

I have never felt this helpless, useless, and downright hopeless before. Nothing we try has worked. And it's got me in a funk. I think we've had smooth sailing for so long, I don't have the capacity to deal when I can't figure it out. If you've been reading my blog for awhile, you know that we don't bother with the CDEs at our endo because they have proven themselves useless time and time again. Talking to them would drive me to tears.

Thankfully, we do have an endo appointment in 9 days. But I don't think I'm going to last that long.

Thank you and maybe an explanation

First, thanks to all who responded to my last post. I was still pretty shaken up when I wrote that. Not because of the number, but because of how Elise was acting. We once had a 32 and she was acting completely normal. I have never witnessed anything like this before, and it still makes my heart race when I think about it.

One piece of good news, I think we've figured out that it wasn't anything I did. Rather, Elise has suddenly become more sensitive to insulin over the past few days. She has gone low after every meal that she's received a shot of humalog for (lunch she doesn't get a shot, so she's usually fine afterwards).

For example, this morning after her shot and breakfast, she only went as high as 136... and that's just after she finished! And that 136 was via the dexcom with a slightly downward arrow. We had to give her 7g just to keep her in the 80s, and after her mid-morning snack (15g), she never went any higher than 100. Dinner last night was a similar story to what happened on Friday, except we caught the low before it got bad.

Oh, and thank you to Tracy (Superhero and the Princess), and Denise (My Sweetest Boy) for my Versatile Blogger award... I need to do my post so I can put my award in my trophy case!!!

Respect the D

We had grand plans, Elise and I. Usually Friday night is "date night" for our family, but this time Fred was stuck at home dealing with a work emergency. So I asked Elise if she wanted to go out, just us girls. The response was an enthusiastic YES! Mattias needed his beauty rest, so he stayed home.

We hit up her favourite restaurant, the Macaroni Grill. Her dinner was grilled chicken, broccoli, and spaghetti. Of course she started off with their bread; dipping it in olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Which is the whole reason she chooses the Macaroni Grill.

And we finish off in style, a piece of chocolate cake. If you ask me, every dinner should culminate in this way. To allow for this carb-fest, I gave her 1/2 a unit more. It isn't often we girls get to go out on the town solo!

We then decided to so some shopping. And this is where it got bad. One minute she was fine, the next, she said she didn't feel so well. Her CGM wasn't receiving for some reason, so I got out her meter.

That's when I noticed all the light had gone out in her eyes and was replaced by a vacant stare. When I saw the number, I knew why. 36. Oh. CRAP.

I whipped out a bottle of apple juice and commanded her to drink. We were in the middle of an aisle, blocking traffic, but I didn't care. She was shaking so bad, a lot of the juice ended up on her shirt. Freaking out, I picked her up and ran to the customer service area so I could sit down with her and get her to drink some more juice.

Carrying her was like carrying a lifeless rag doll. A very heavy rag doll. Her head kept lolling to the side and I was pleading with her to stay awake. Finally I sat her down and continued to get the 1000-yard stare. Only 5 minutes had elapsed, but I checked her anyway... 64.

Okay, coming up, but she was still acting "gone". When I'd ask her a question, it took her about 5 seconds to answer. She just sat there. Not crying. Just staring. I checked her again... 95.

I cradled her in my lap, and she leaned on me as if her life depended on it. I felt the tears threatening, but I wasn't going to cry. One final check revealed a 130. And in an instant, she came back to life. Almost like nothing had happened.

She saw a stuffed Tigger and asked for it. That extra 1/2 unit of insulin at dinner brought me tremendous guilt, and what kept running through my head was, "of course you should buy it for her, you nearly killed her."

Not true? Hyperbole? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I sometimes I think I've got this disease figured out and dole out insulin and carbs rather cavalierly. More carbs should equal more insulin, right? Except for tonight, it didn't. Maybe I'm too cocky. Or I don't give this disease the respect it needs. I don't know. I do know this experience has left me rather shaken.

And Elise? Well, tonight she's sleeping with a stuffed Tigger cuddled in her arms.