Monday, October 31, 2011

My Halloweenies

I also posted these on my other blog, but couldn't resist putting them on here too. They are so cute all dressed up it almost makes me wish everyday was Halloween.


Happy Hallowe'en!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Hurling the night away

It all started, as good stories do, at 3:00 on a Friday afternoon. The morning was spent running around and playing silly games with her brother. Meals and snacks were consumed without an issue, and numbers were running a tad high, but nothing earth shattering.

But then the clock struck three and it was like a switch had been flipped. I had just finished nursing Mattias, and Elise was sitting at the table eating her goldfish when she started to scream.

And I mean SCREAM. Tears were streaming down her face and I was trying to figure out what had happened. Until I touched her forehead. A quick forehead scan showed a temp of 102.6. Crap-on-a-STICK!

Did I mention that is was 3:00?

On a Friday?

Thankfully, I have THE best pedi in the world, and she agreed to fit us in.

Two hours, a garbage can full of puke and a strep and flu test later; it's confirmed that she has a raging case of strep.


Thank goodness for sugar-free antibiotics, ketone meters, and CGMs. And for my awesome super-quick reflexes that enabled me to catch Elise's puke in my hands, pour it into her garbage, and reposition my hands for the next deluge. I am proud to say that nothing got on her bed, and there was just the tiniest splotch on her pajamas. Boo-to-the-ya!

I think this has been the roughest illness by far for us. Her BGs are yo-yoing all over the place. When she's high, it's like we're injecting her with water. When her BG finally does come down and is on the low side, that's when she starts puking and will not even drink juice. And the advil seems to have no effect on her fever. At least we're keeping the ketones at bay.

And all this comes the day after her endo appointment in which we got an A1C of 6.9.

You take the good, you take the bad...

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Shame on you, Garliq

I've been holding off on writing this post for two reasons; I had to cool off so it wouldn't be so expletive-ridden that it would make Reyna blush, and I kept hoping that the guy this post is about would step up and do the right thing.

He hasn't, and I'm pretty sure I have the self-control to contain myself, so here goes...

You might remember this post. Click over if you want to. If not, here's the Reader's Digest version; we had a fund-raiser at a local restaurant called Garliq. The owner also pledged a good amount of money for Team Elise. He had supported us last year, so there was really no reason to think he would do this to us.

Anyway, the deadline for collecting money was fast approaching, and this guy does a disappearing act on us. Calls go unreturned. Visits to the restaurant are unsuccessful as he is never there. When Fred manages to reach him, the call gets mysteriously "dropped"

So we have yet to see a dime from the "fund-raiser" he held for us, nor any of the money he pledged. And it was a goodly sum, too. Fred and I had to take a hit and pay for part of the shirts out of our own pockets. 120+ shirts do not come cheap.

To top it all off, the restaurant has suddenly closed and we now have no way of tracking this guy down. Supposedly, he's opening up at another location, but I'll believe it when I see it.

Fred and I are so, so ticked (that doesn't even BEGIN to describe it). His restaurant's logo is on the back of our Team Elise shirts, and he did NOTHING to earn that.

Look, I get that the economy is bad. If this was going to be a hardship on him, HE SHOULD HAVE TOLD US. We were in touch with him right up to the day of the fund-raiser, and nothing was said. Instead, he makes promises he can't deliver on, and then hides from us and refuses to the right thing.

You should be ashamed of yourself, Nazir Moosa. This was for CHARITY. You made a PROMISE. It's time to man up, come out of hiding, and deal with this. You owe us (at least) that.

Edited to add: I decided to delete the name-calling from this post. I admit I let my emotions get the better of me, but it's still no reason to resort to childish tactics. It still doesn't change the fact this has made me so unbelievably upset and what this guy has done is wrong. Especially when we had people come eat at his restaurant thinking that part of the proceeds were going to support Team Elise. That is just plain fraud.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Meet our pump!

We're leaving MDI behind,
Pumping will soon be our thing.
So we'd like to introduce
Our new pump the...


Did I fool ya? Did I?

I was impressed at how many of you guessed correctly, but like Highlander, there can be only one. Winner that is. And the winner was...

Picking the winner (GO RANGERS!)

Congrats Misty from God is good! You are now the proud owner of a $25 Target gift card. Please email me your mailing address by Wednesday at midnight, or I will be forced to draw again.

Thanks to everybody who took part in the contest. Our first training date is Oct. 31... too bad we won't be pumping by Halloween.

As Elise says, "YAY PUMP!"

Big fan of the pink skin

Mattias in the box o' pods

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Mattias wants you to know something...

My idea for this picture was to get a shot of Mattias holding the sign, looking into the camera and smiling in his oh-so-adorable way. I forgot one important detail... my son does not sit still. Ever. He's also a big fan of doing the opposite of what you ask of him.

And please ignore that fact that he's not wearing any clothes. He has a horrid case of the trots rights now and goes through more wardrobe changes than a Lady Gaga concert.

What Mattias wants to tell you is that IT'S HERE! THE PUMP IS HERE! Unfortunately it arrived after Elise left for her camping trip, so the box will remain closed, and the pump choice remain a mystery until she gets back.

The "Guess That Pump" contest is now closed. I had a fun idea for a prize, but due to my sinus-infection-that-wasn't-a-sinus-infection, but rather an inflamed nerve in my face, AND a raging case of pink eye that has super-glued my left eye shut (jealous yet?), the winner will get a rather boring $25 gift card to my mothership... er, favourite store, Target.

I will take all the names of the people who guessed correctly, put them in a hat and have Elise draw a name. The winner will have 48 hours to notify me with their address, otherwise a new name will be picked.

Stay tuned.... winner will be announced Monday!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

You want to take her WHERE?

About a month ago, Fred sent me an email. Our church was having a father/daughter camping trip, and he wanted to take Elise. I filed it away in "to be dealt with later" and forgot about it.

Fast forward a few weeks and the big day is here... tomorrow Fred and Elise will be driving 2+ hours away to Oklahoma from Friday until Sunday.

And I am freaking out. Just a little bit. Okay, maybe a lot.

Fred is a great psuedo-pancreas, second-in-command. He does finger pokes, shots, can carb count, knows carb factors for Elise's most commonly-consumed foods... But, he's not me.

At the risk of sounding rather egotistical, let me explain. I have been doing this for over three years now. Every. Stinking. Day. You get very good at predicting trends and understanding how certain things affect blood sugars when you've put in those kinds of hours.

I've seen that pretzels will make her BG rise about 40 minutes after she eats them.

I know that even if her BG is 250 at 3:00pm, she will still need a 15g uncovered snack to get her to dinner.

I understand that if I give her her bedtime N about 40 minutes before her snack, her Bg will sail rather smoothly, instead of slingshotting up, then down if I give the shot and snack at the same time.

But I've pretty much made peace with the fact that Elise's CGM will look like the peaks and valleys of my beautiful Canadian Rockies by Sunday night. I know Fred will do his best with all the activity/smores/excitement that is a recipe for a BG train wreck.

What really freaks me out is the nighttime stuff. I've said before that Fred does the majority of the night checks, but it's usually me kicking his butt out of bed. He is famous for getting up and turning the alarm off, and then getting back into bed without ever checking Elise.

Here is the scary part; he is completely unaware of what he's doing.

Fred has always had nighttime issues. He used to sleepwalk. He talks to me in Portuguese while he sleeps. There have been nights where he goes into Elise's room to check her, and when I go in two minutes later (because I haven't heard anything over the baby monitor), he'll be standing beside her bed, asleep.

e've talked it over, and he's certain that because his safety net (me) isn't there, his brain will step up and wake up when it needs to. And I'm holding fast to the hope that this is what will happen.

Because the memories they will make, and the fun they will have (not to mention the sleep I will hopefully get if Mattias's teeth cooperate), is so worth having to quash any fear I am feeling.

And if you have any "camping with D" tips to share, please do!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Thanks Tips4type1!

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away (or at least that's how it feels to me), I was the winner in a pretty cool giveaway.

Shannon, at The New Normal Life teamed up with Tonya from Tips4type1, and the lucky winner (ME!) received two rockin' bottles of nail polish.

A little about Tips4type1:
Their objective is two-fold; to raise money and awareness for type 1 diabetes. It was started by Tonya Homme whose daughter was diagnosed with type 1 in October of 2008,at the age of 23-months.

Tips4type1 offers polish in two beautiful colours; blue (for the diabetes awareness circle), and silver (for the diabetes awareness ribbon). The colours are named True Blue Hope and Tips of Steel. Tonya donates $10 from the sale of each set of polish to the Diabetes Research Institute. So you can look glorious and feel great about yourself at the same time!

And I was the winner of the giveaway on Shannon's blog that happened so many moons ago! Go me! Even more excited was Elise, who bugs me almost on a daily basis to paint her nails.

So as soon as the polish arrived, I set to work. My tootsies didn't get a new coat, because I'm still sporting the polish from my birthday pedicure and couldn't find the polish remover. But Elise was only too happy to offer up her hands and feet.

So pretty (the girl AND the polish)!

Elise LOVES her pretty nails and was so excited to show them off at the birthday party we went to that weekend (the fact that it was a boys party and was Cars-themed was lost on her). Thanks to Shannon and especially Tonya at Tips4type1! We love the polish.

Now go check out Tips4type1 and get some polish to paint your nails for World Diabetes Day!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

It's done

It is with two parts trepidation, one part anticipation, and one part, "what the crap am I doing?"; that I would like to announce that the paper work has been signed, sent in, received, and insurance is a-go... it's pump time!

I'm going to hold back on which pump we chose, so I can make it into a fun contest... just leave a comment on this post guessing either Ping or Omnipod.

I'll put all correct guesses into a hat and the winner will be announced sometime next week (when we receive the pump). The prize is to be determined (don't worry, it won't be lame... or will it? Mwah hah hah hah).

Oh yeah, and if you already know (as in I have told you), you are exempt (Jessica, Meri and Laura).

We have just one sticking point. We can't make the training class that the hospital makes you go to once you have the pump. It's all day, from 9-4 (8-5 with travel time), and we don't have anybody to leave Elise with, plus Mattias is still nursing, and they don't want us to bring the kids. Please pray that we can work something out with the hospital.

And if you could say a few prayers for me... I have THE worst sinus infection, ever. The whole right side of my face has been throbbing for days and even the prescription painkillers they've given me don't touch the pain. Plus Fred is away and Mattias is teething. Maybe this is sympathy pain?

And thanks to everybody for your encouraging comments on my last post. I've been wondering just what the heck is wrong with me that I am so freaked out about this, so it's nice to know I'm in good company.

Now, leave a comment and guess our pump choice!

Saturday, October 8, 2011

A tale of two pumps

Our pump trials are done. It was... interesting. I think we've made our decision.

Both pumps had their definite pros and cons. The Omnipod's rep was wonderful, the insertion went swimmingly, but the pod is just so stinking big on her tiny body, and we had an issue where it ripped off the adhesive and was hanging by the cannula.

I didn't feel as connected to the Animas rep, and the insertion was AWFUL. Elise cried so much, and I almost lost it. She really liked carrying the pump around, but balked at having to wear her tummitote with the dexcom and the pump.

The tubing was another issue, and Elise got it in her head that if it was getting in the way, she could just disconnect the pump. I told her if this is the pump we choose, then she can't do that. The day we started the trial, Elise had ballet. She was wearing the site on her leg and we couldn't get it to work with her tights and the tubing.

Plus Mattias saw that tubing as a fun toy to yank on. Same with the Omnipod. Sigh, the world is his playground.

So we did the trial. We've picked our pump. Then why is the paperwork still sitting on my coffee table, still not filled out?

I know it's time. She's ready. She asks about the pump almost every day. But it seems that I am not ready.

I am not ready to leave behind what is comfortable. What I know. What I can do with my eyes closed and one hand tied behind my back. The insulin regime we're on might not look nice, but it's all we know.

It's change, and if you've been reading my ramblings for very long, you know that I fear change. Abhor it, really. Change and I are not well met.

Of course, it doesn't help that every time I get ready to pull the trigger, we get a string of glorious numbers that give me pause to this whole pump thing.

I KNOW it is the best thing for Elise, and that's the worst part. It's making me feel like a terrible Mom for delaying this thing as much as I have. I am bad, bad, BAD.

How on earth do I get the courage to jump off of this cliff?

Friday, October 7, 2011

No D... all about E!

Something occurred to me the other day. Although this blog is about a certain-disease that-will-not-be-mentioned-today, it's about Elise's certain-disease that-will-not-be-mentioned-today, and I don't think she gets much of the spotlight on here; the disease does. So today's post is going to be all about her, and just how incredible she is.

There are days when I look at her and think, "really? She's only four
?" This child is 4 going on 14, going on 40.

Elise, from very early on, has always had a very delicate, empathetic soul. At the age of about a year, I started noticing how much she cared for others who are hurting. If we were out at a store, and she could hear a baby crying, she would look at me; her eyes all big and she would stick out her bottom lip and say, "awwww." When she learned to talk she would add, "bebe sad." If she could see the baby, she would reach out and say, "is okay bebe. No be sad. Is okay".

The o
ther day, I was having a particularly bad moment, and Elise came up to me, hugged my leg and said something very profound, for a four year old:

"I know it's hard Momma. Poppa is gone (he was travelling) and y
ou are all by yourself. It's hard work. I know. But you'll be okay. I just love ya (she always says ya, not you) so much."

What 4 year old says that?

She a
lso has a wicked sense of humour, and loves to make us laugh. I remember when she was 2, she took a plastic red toy bin, stuck it on her head and sang, "little red capuz (pronounced ca-poosh - it means hood in Portguese) on my head" to the tune of "Little Red Caboose".

It's funny for a couple of reasons; who doesn't love to watch a toddler drunkenly stagger about with an over-sized bin on their noggin? And it was some pretty good word play... for a two year old.

And I'll never forget the time we were at Target (she was about 2 1/2 at the time), and we passed by the bra rack. She grabbed a bright pink bra, put it on and started to walk down the aisle yelling, "I need a bra for my boobies!"

Pure comedic genius, my friends.

(if you want to read more of the funny things that come out of Elise's
mouth, I have a whole bunch of them posted on my other blog here.)

Elise has a huge imagination and loves to play make believe. Some days we're having tea with a Giganotosaurus (her favourite dinosaur), or we're princesses riding our unicorns to the ball. We've travelled to Australia, Mt. Everest, China, the arctic and even the moon.

She loves ballet and tap dancing, ice skating and gymnastics. These days she's been bugging me to put her on a soccer team. My dream is to put some hockey skates on her and let the Canadian in her have some fun. I love that she wants to be active.

Elise has been the best big sister Mattias could ever want; from day one, she has adored him
, and he loves her just as much. Nobody can make Mattias laugh like she can. She is patient, gentle and loving with him, and a huge help to me.

Life with Elise is fun; she is a sweet, kind, amazing little girl. Did I mention that s
he's even bilingual? My husband only speaks Portuguese to her (and Mattias), and when we went to Portugal, she was able to speak with all her relatives.

I am so proud of her and all she has done in her life so far. She's incred
ible and I am blessed to be her Mom.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Beating diabetes at its own game

Le sigh.

You know how everything old is new again? Well, we are back to almost having to use wrestling holds to give Elise her shots. That might fly with a 12 month old, but a freaked-out 4 year old is proving to be way, way stronger than me.

Crap-on-a-stick it's ba-a-a-a-ad. And if her BG is high? Freaking near IMPOSSIBLE.

I've tried all the old tricks, but it's almost impossible to reason with her. I even promised her that if she didn't resist her shots, she could give me a shot. In the bum.

Oh yes I did.

And yes she did. I let a 4 year old stick a needle in my arse (with Fred's supervision, of course). I'm a little taken aback at how gleeful she was about the whole thing.

And she did pretty well for awhile after that. Now she's back to her freaking out ways again. And there is no way I'm going to implement a shot-for-a-shot philosophy around here.

So yesterday morning over breakfast, I laid it all out for her. Maybe it was too harsh, I don't know. But diabetes is a harsh disease. And the sooner she gets that, the better. It went something like this:

(P.S. - please don't judge me for the way I choose to talk to my kid about diabetes. I am a realist... I don't believe in sugar-coating things or making things pretty when they're not. M'kay?)

I let her know that we love her very much. And we are so sorry that she has diabetes. In fact, I told her I would give her my pancreas in a heartbeat if I could. But it doesn't work that way. I told her that we don't like to give her shots, and we don't do it for chuckles, but the plain truth is; she will DIE if she doesn't have insulin.

I explained how heartbroken we would be if she wasn't with us anymore. How we would miss her. And that's why we have to take such good care of her. Then I went into the whole "everybody-has-something" bit. It's what you DO with your something that makes you who you are.

Then I appealed to her competitive side (and ohmygosh, don't ever try to beat her at anything). I told her that it's okay to be sad about diabetes sometimes, but when it makes us sad, mad or scared ALL the time, we're letting diabetes win.

When we show diabetes that we're not scared of it; the shots, the finger pokes, the dr. visits... then we are the ones who are winning (damn you Charlie Sheen for forever tainting that term).

Now, this girl LOVES to win. At everything. If you want to motivate her to do something, turn it into a race or a competition. Elise totally perked up when I started talking about beating diabetes.

"So if I don't cry at my shots, I'm beating diabetes? I win?" She asked.

I told her yes. That when diabetes isn't the boss of us, then we win. She liked that. In fact, she was ALL OVER that.

And you know what? It's working. With each shot, instead of crying, she now yells, "I WIN!"

So stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it, diabetes. You loose.

You're a loo-hoo-ser, diabetes!
(Elise at 15 months)

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Things diabetes has taught me this month: September edition

-That it's okay to not be perfect, either as a pancreas or a blogger (or a person for that matter). I didn't do a "Things diabetes has taught me..." post for August. Usually I start a draft and write little blurbs as the month goes by, because my brain is too mushy to try and remember anything. As the end of the month drew near, I had nary a thing to post about. I know I learned something, but had no clue as to what it was. I started to panic. I won't bore you with the details of my inner turmoil about missing a month, but eventually I came to terms with the fact that:

a) perfection is impossible

b) nobody cares but me.

c) it's okay that I am not perfect and that no one cares.

-The carb factor for my sweet coconut rice is .18. Remind me to post the recipe sometime. Major YUM.

-Jasmine rice makes Elise's BG soar into the stratosphere. Brown rice does not. Too bad you can't make the above recipe with brown rice.

-Choosing a pump is not easy. Or maybe it's just not easy for me.

-Giving a shot in a poorly lit area of an amusement park is not fun. Especially drawing up the insulin. Six Flags over Texas really needs to invest in a better lighting system. On a sort-of-related-but-has-nothing-to-do-with-diabetes note, my daughter is a total adrenaline junkie. Who knew?

-And finally, I learned that I love it when I write a post and it resonates with other people. I received a "Best of the 'Betes Blog" award in August for a post I did entitled, "Her Sam". I wrote that post with tears in my eyes; it meant a lot to me and I'm glad it meant something to others too. Me likey winning awards! Thanks Sara for putting it all together.