Nine. Times.

It was 1:45pm on Monday when I started this post.  As of 10 minutes ago, I have been on the phone with our school nurse 9 times.  Nine. Times.



The first call was around 8:00 this morning, only 15 minutes after school started.  The reason?  Elise was low. I honestly can't remember the number because there are so many from today, but she was below 100.  Only an hour after eating.

Even though I changed basals and I:C ratios (so she'd get less insulin), she only topped out at 120 after breakfast.

The rest of the day so far has followed suit.  Low after low after low.  In fact, I'm expecting a call soon, since my watch is telling me she's dropping.  Again.

All those spikes you see were from the many, many carbs consumed.
But she always came right back down

Now it's Tuesday, about 24 hours later.  I never finished the post yesterday because... well, life.  And again, I've been on the phone with the nurse nine times.  Including one phone call where Elise was 51 in P.E.

As much as this sucks, I am very thankful we have probably the rocking-est (is this a word?  No?  I care not) school nurse in the history of ever.  We are the lucky ones.  I have heard from so many parents how care at school is a battle, the nurse isn't helpful, and things being done to their child are downright illegal.  

We are contemplating moving to another state.  I am unfamiliar with the laws and unsure of the protections that exist for Elise there.  I do know that right now we live in one of the best states when it comes to protecting our kiddos with T1.  

It shouldn't be this way.  There are so many struggles when it comes to diabetes; finding an endo you gel with, getting the supplies you need, insurance battles... the list goes on.  I'm lucky that when I send Elise off to school, I know she's in amazing hands.  Not everybody has this and it hurts my heart for them.

This month, I am thankful for so much.  But after what we've been dealing with over the last few days, our nurse is at one of the top spots on my list.  If you have a good one, make she she/he knows it.  If you don't... well I'd be shouting that from the rooftops too.

And I think a certain nurse will be getting a "just-because-you're-awesome" gift tomorrow.

Second verse, same as the first... but worse lows this time

My new job title

Conversation with Elise yesterday:

E: S told me that his mom is an art teacher.  I told S that you are a diabetes teacher.

The hours suck, and so does the pay.  There's no time off and the work itself makes you crazy.

But there's nobody else I'd rather work for.

Watch me meme

Awhile back, I was asked if I'd like to contribute a meme to the T1 Everyday Magic website in honour of World Diabetes Awareness Month.  After looking up what a meme was (I kid!), I agonized  over what my submission would look like... should it be funny? Mention poison cookies? Should the humour be subtle, yet sprinkled with sarcasm?  

Click here to find out, and to see some other great memes from some pretty cool DOC peeps.

A witch, a ninja, and Dusty walk into a bar...

Under the influence of candy and the trick-or-treating hasn't even started yet.

These blood sugars are brought to you by hours of running around and over 30g of uncovered Halloween treats.

And what you don't see?  The continued lows all night; including a 72 at 10:00 pm, a 62 at 1:15 am, and a 64 at 5:30 am.  Thank goodness we're all stocked up on sugar here.

National World Diabetes Awareness Month

Before you use diabetes as a joke or a punchline, think about Elise, and the millions of children and adults like her who struggle everyday with the burden of diabetes.

She did not cause this.

She won't outgrow it.

There is no cure.

It is 24/7/365.

And if you can eat something, then so can she.

I want my $1!

In light of what's been going on around here with diabetes, I decided to try and have some fun with it.  We try to avoid using words like good/bad when it comes to blood sugars, but I've heard of some people doing this and thought it was worth a shot.

For every 100 that pops up on the meter, Elise gets $1.  It's not for having  a "good" number, it's just for fun.

Some people have told me that it's bad to mix BG numbers and rewards, but I've told Elise this is not a reward, but a fun game we can play.  So far, she's enjoying it.  And that's all that matters.

Sometimes...

Things have been rough lately.  Diabetes has been a big, stupid jerkface, and Elise is collapsing under the burden of it all.

The other day we had a meltdown of epic proportions. My heard was breaking because I couldn't fix it.  She's hurting down to the depths of her soul and I can't do anything about it. It was haunting to listen to.

She's right... Diabetes is awful.  And horrible.  And not fair.  She's right to ask, "why me?"

But what, as parents, can we do about it?  We can hold their hands. ease the burden in any way possible, validate that their feelings about diabetes are okay (though I've had some argue with me about this.  That's another post for another day), and love them as best we can.

But there is no tangible way to help.  And that's the kicker.

I went to bed that night with a shadow resting over my heart.  I replayed her sobs in my head, feeling like an utter failure.

It's my fault she has this.

My fault her numbers have been erratic lately.

My fault because nothing I do fixes them.

My fault because by now, I should know what to do.

The next morning I awoke with a renewed determination.  First and foremost I wanted Elise to know how proud I am of her.  And how she constantly amazes me with her strength.  And even though diabetes is hard, she is bigger and better than it, and it won't beat her.

So I wrote it down in a note and tucked it into her lunch bag.  Usually I write her jokes, but that day she needed more than a laugh.

There were quite a few calls from the nurse that day (because of the erratic numbers), and I could always hear her in the background; she sounded in good spirits. Usually multiple nurse visits cause major grumpiness.

When she got home, she bounced off the bus to meet me and gave me a big hug when we got in the house.  Then she said this:

"You know that note you wrote me?  Thank you.  It made me smile.  I also read it to M (other girl n her grade with d), and it made her smile and happy too.  And then we talked about how hard diabetes is.  Can I keep the note forever and look at it when I need to?"

With that, she showed me exactly why I wrote the note.  Because it's true.  All of it; she's amazing, and brave.  Strong and a fighter. There are days when diabetes will get her... but she'll prevail in the end.  I know it.

And sometimes... even though I feel like a failure when it comes to diabetes, it's nice to know that I can get it right.

Feeling low?

What do you do when you find boxes and boxes of Jelly Beans in the clearance bin at your grocery store?

You buy as many as possible.

And then text your fellow D-Moms in the area to alert them to the booty of low treasure that awaits them for just 45 cents a box.

It's the small things people...

I guess it's really over...

Almost two months after FFL was over, my last piece of the conference I was trying to hold onto fell off.

And now I'm sad.  Again.

(This post was written a few weeks ago, but never published. I still felt the need to share)

Tap Tap... is this blog still on?

Hello.

I'm still here. Well, sort of. 

Somebody really needs to build an app so my post ideas will go directly from my brain to the blog.  Scratch that... I might start to sound as crazy as I actually am.

Every year, the end of August and beginning on September around here cause me to temporarily lose my mind.  Mostly because, in the span of two weeks, we experience the following:

• Setting up our 504 plan
• Meet the Teacher
• Home visits from the boys' teachers
• Back-to-school for Elise
• My birthday
• Elise's birthday
• Elise's diaversary
• Mattias's birthday
• A birthday party for Elise and Mattias
• Back-to-school for the boys.

This year we added selling a house, our wonderful dog Seven passing away, and the death of a fellow D-mom.

I had more cake and did more crying during those two weeks than I care to admit.

I have lots to share... even if you're not particularly interested. But not right now.  

Right now I think now it's time for some cuteness, however random it may be:

Birthday pinata

Cheering on our team

Fun at the park while trying not to melt in the heat

She's 8!  How did that happen???

I love to snuggle this guy... even when it's 105 degrees out

These 3... they exude awesomeness