Technically, yesterday is the day that sucked, but since I didn't stop until I collapsed into my bed at 11:00 pm, this post had to wait.
I could tell the day was going to be full of suckitude from the get-go. The meat I had planned to use for dinner had spoiled, and leaked "meat juice" all over my fridge. And as I was getting a bottle prepared so Fred could feed Lucas while I took Elise to the doctor, the entire bag of milk spilled all over the counter.
It was like a knife to the heart, because breast milk is the other liquid gold. Am I right, nursing mamas?
Anyway, all that had nothing to do with diabetes. What DID have something to do with diabetes is Elise's appointment Made because an infection (from a pump site) under her skin on her bottom was just not going away, even after three appointments, three different antibiotics and a myriad of creams.
The decision was made to drain it, but the doc was very hesitant to do it. In her words, "she's so young and I'm not going to lie, it hurts. I just don't know if I want to cause her that much pain."
The option of taking her to the children's hospital where a surgeon could do it while she was sedated was offered, but logistically; a nightmare. So after talking to Elise about it, she decided to be brave and do it right then and there.
What followed can only be described as 10 minutes of pure hell. There are no words to describe the screams that emitted from my daughter. I kneeled beside her at the head of the table while tears streamed down both of our faces. All I could do was stroke her hair and hold her hand, hoping she could hear my whispered words as I tried to soothe her.
Over and over she wailed, "please stop hurting me, please stop hurting me!" But she never moved... never flinched, never squirmed. She just laid there as the doctor gave her multiple shots to numb the area and then cut the infection out.
All I could think was, "she goes through so much... why this too? Why does diabetes have to cause her so much pain?" And once again, I was blown away at just how brave she was. Even the doctor was amazed.
Yes, she IS brave... takes almost everything in stride, and today we were back at the doctor to make sure all was okay. Any other kid would be screaming the moment we entered the parking lot, and certainly wouldn't let the doctor touch them again. Elise did it all, with a smile on her face... because she isn't like any other kid. And that's awesome, but...
It's also why diabetes sucks today.
1 week ago