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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

When D makes our choices for us

I've been noticing that other Mom's that have kids around Elise's age are starting to check out Preschools. I haven't even thought about it, much less done any research because it seems to me that it's just not an option for us.

As much as I love my daughter, I think having a few hours a week to myself would be lovely. Because I'm selfish like that. But I'm guessing her having diabetes makes it a moot point, right? I mean, the only time we leave her in the nursery at church is when one of her one-on-one buddies can be there with her. And that's only for just over an hour, once a week. I'm guessing that preschools don't have that kind of care.

I have never been away from her for more than a few hours since her dx, and we don't have anyone here that knows how to care for her. I am so burnt out right now that I can't help but be jealous of the other Moms who have this option.

All I want for Elise is to live a normal life, and not be denied experiences because of her diabetes. I don't want to use diabetes as an excuse as to why she can't do something. Although I do realize that at this point in her life, it's a reality for us because of how little she is.

And perhaps the reason I want this so bad for her, is because I really want it for me. And that makes me feel like a bad Mom.

2 comments:

  1. Okay- so your NOT a bad mom for thinking those things! It is the reality of your life at this point! It has only been since we moved back to Alaska that people have offered to learn how to take care of Jada so that Jeff and I can do things we haven't done since her diagnosis- like go out for dates on a regular basis. It is really important for you to find a way to take care of yourself. I am praying for you that you that the Lord will give you someone you trust to take care of Elise for an hour or two a couple of times a month. Your husband travels frequently with work if I remember right, so it leaves the bulk of the care to you- which is TOUGH!
    Hang in there- know there is someone 4000 miles away holding you before the Lord. He'll provide!

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  2. You are SO not a bad mom. In fact, you instinct is probably telling you that you could be an even better mom if you got some "you time" (not that you aren't already an amazing mom, I've seen you in action). I want to learn more anyway, so maybe I'll drop by again soon for some practice after work. I would love to give you and Fred a chance to at least go out for dinner. You're on my way home from the office for cryin out loud! I love that kid of yours! Go to Napolis already! It's just around the corner! Why am I shouting? Ok, rambling. Let's set a date.

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