Friday, February 7, 2014

Diabetes Olympics - a repost

In honour of the opening of the Sochi Olympics, I thought I'd repost one of my favourites... with a few updates.

One night, as I was unable to sleep, I began comparing the care of diabetes to Olympic events. And this is the subsequent post that followed. Yes, all I do is write blog posts in my head when I should be sleeping. And yes, I even awarded myself medals.

Shooting (up) - Points are deducted for blood or a wet shot (insulin seeping out of the skin after the needle is removed). I'm pretty good at avoiding both of these, but it's really just a crapshoot.  Since we started the pump, I have now retired from this event.

Result: Silver

Pod Change Dash - I can proudly say that I can do a pod change in under 2 1/2 minutes.  From the filling of  the syringe with insulin, until the final snap, my PB (personal best) is 2 minutes 24 seconds.  BAM!
Result: Gold all the way, baby!

Synchronized Living - This is the ability to balance carbs, insulin, exercise, growth spurts, illnesses, and hormones; and still achieve reasonably good numbers.
Result: Some days it's a gold medal and they're playing "Oh Canada" while I stand atop the podium and wave. Other days, it's a big, fat DNF (did not finish).

Speed Getting Ready -
 I do this five mornings a week while trying to get Elise to school. I get up at 6:25 and check her blood sugar.  I pre-bolus then get my butt downstairs.  Here's where it gets tricky... I now have 40 minutes to: 

-make breakfast for her and child #2
-make her lunch, complete with carb counts written down for the nurse
-Write a note for Elise to read at lunch
-Make sure she's getting dressed, going to the bathroom, brushing her teeth, brushing her hair, and packing her school bag up
-Get child #3 from his crib and nurse him
-Change #2 and #3's diapers
-Remember to grab the charging dex and throw it in the school bag
-Get Elise out to the bus stop just as the bus is pulling up
Result: The only time she has missed the bus is when my alarm failed to go off and I woke up at 7:05.  I still managed to get her to the school 2 minutes before the tardy bell... Gold!

10 Meter Dash - This is pretty much the distance from our bed to Elise's. I've gotten pretty fast at shooting out of bed and making it to her side when I hear the dex alarm, or I wake up and realize that we slept though the 2 am alarm. But I get points deducted for a slow start... trying to find my glasses in the dark does tack some seconds onto my time. Then there are the nights that I'm still asleep as I leap out of bed and I run right into a wall. Awesome.


SWAG-ing - (stands for Scientific Wild Ass Guessing) Some people can just look at a piece of cake and be able to tell you how many carbs are in it. I am now one of those people. And I have gotten very good at figuring out an item's carb factor. A lot of times it's just knowing a similar item's carb factor and going from there. But there are those foods that are unlike anything else on earth... You may remember my post on the Best Cake in the World. It was probably a fluke that I got it right on the first try, but it does feel good when you nail the landing.
Result: Silver

Juggling -
 Now that I have three little minions to take care of, I have learned to become a gold medal juggler (jugglist?). It's what you end up doing when multiple kids need you at the same time.  For example: it's 2 am and you're rocking a crying baby when the dex alarms low.  If your spouse is out of town, there is nobody to hand the baby off to,  so you learn to check a BG while holding the baby who is clutching onto you for dear life. Then there are the nights a screaming 3 year old with night terrors is added to the mix.  I hate this event.

Result: I'd give myself a silver, only because of my bad attitude and the cursing I do when stuff like this happens.

Biathlon - Which, of course is the combination of two sports. For me, I find the crap usually hits the fan when I am momentarily indisposed. I've become pretty good at checking a BG, and treating a low, all while nursing Lucas. The key, as any good athlete will tell you, is preparation. This means I carry fast-acting carbs with me at all times. Yes, I've been known to pull a roll of Smarties out of my sock.

Result: Gold

Accuracy - Just a fun little game I play in my head to take the monotony out of checking Elise's BG 10+ times a day. I try to guess what her BG is going to be. It was a lot harder before the dex joined our team, but I got to be pretty good at it. Of course I had a lot of what-the-crap moments too.
Result: Silver

Wrestling - I don't participate in this sport anymore. Now that Elise is 6, and not on shots anymore. But when she was 12 months old, you should have seen some of the leg holds I had to put on her. Because when you are just one person, and you have to use two hands to give the shot, you become pretty creative in the ways you hold your baby down to administer a shot.
Result: Gold

Swimming - As in "just keep swimming". Usually done on days where you swear you cannot do this for another second. When you are bone tired and there is nobody to take the baton from your hand. When all you want to do is climb up onto your roof and scream the F-word (no, not fine) for as loud and as long as possible. When it seems like the tears will never stop falling. You still kick your legs and flail your arms to keep your head above the water and "just keep swimming". Because you have to.
Result: Total gold medal. I've been doing it every day for 5 years and 5 months now and don't ever plan on stopping. I think that deserves a gold.

Anybody else care to join in on the fun?


  1. speed getting ready - HOLY CRAP there should be something higher than gold. platinum? lifetime achievement award? a trip to a day spa? SOMETHING.

    night terrors - :(

    sock smarties ftw!

    keep on truckin!

  2. This post is amazing, and I completely relate! :)

  3. Excellent ... I give you a Gold for creative dblog writing :)

  4. This post is so great, I'm glad you re-posted it. I think you deserve gold medals all around!!


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