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Wednesday, August 5, 2009

How can I miss you if you never go away?

My Mom is in town right now and it has been so fabulous. I've been able to get my hair cut, go to the doc so he can figure out why I'm still sick (yes, still... three weeks later), and get my passport pictures taken. I'm also planning on fitting in a chiropractor appointment and getting my driver's licence renewed. I'm whittling that to-do list down to only 1 page!

To take care of all these tasks with Elise in tow would be impossible. Nor would I want to drag my child to the DMV or the cesspool of germs known as the doctors office. But while my Mom is here, I am reassured that I'm leaving her with someone that can check her blood sugar, and knows how to do everything involved with giving her a snack or meal (weighing the food, doing the math, etc.). She's still working on being able to give Elise a shot, but as the song says, two out of three ain't bad.

Unfortunately, she's leaving in a week and I hate that I'll be back to having no one to leave Elise with during the day if I needed to. We just don't have anyone here that knows how to care for her. We have had one friend (love you Val!), step up and say she would love to learn, but life just keeps on getting in the way. She has a husband, a job, and a whole bunch of other responsibilities; plus trying to get our schedules to line up is just impossible. So for now, there's no one.

Because Elise was diagnosed so young, we've never had the chance to get her used to not having Momma and Poppa there. She's pretty good with Gramma (although she still whimpers when I try to leave), but otherwise her separation anxiety is so bad, I don't even know if we could leave her with anyone.

We've pretty much stopped going to church because the last three or four times we've left her with her one-on-one buddy in the nursery, she's had a total meltdown and they've had to call us out of the service each time. They've tried to calm her, but nothing works and we don't want her to get that upset.

I wish I knew what to do. My husband and I only get to go on "real" date nights (that Elise does not accompany us on) every 5 months or so when my Mom is here. And I miss going to church. But I don't know how to address the separation anxiety issue. We can't get her used to being left with someone other than ourselves because we don't have anybody to leave her with, and I am uncomfortable with how upset she gets when we do try to leave her (we're talking total meltdown).

But I'm going to try and enjoy the time she has left and not get mopey about her having to go home. Did I mention that she's been doing all our laundry, loads and unloads the dishwasher, cleans the kitchen, mops the floor, walks the dog, and helps me make dinner?

No, you cannot have her.

5 comments:

  1. We go to my inlaws 3 nights a week for dinner, and my parents on Fridays. I'M SPOILED!! I admit it! Now you know how I do it, I hardly ever cook.

    I'm sorry your mom has to go. :(

    But you just can't stop going to church. We had nursery issues too. My husband and I would discuss who needed to be spiritually uplifted most that week, and that person would go into service and the other would stay in the nursery with the baby. Believe it or not, they all adjusted. B took a couple weeks, L tood a few months, but they finally were weaned. The more your daughter goes the more comfortable she'll feel. Don't give up!!

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  2. Thanks Meri... we're also having other issues at church (service time moving to a time that no longer works with Elise's schedule).

    One of the last times we left Elise in the nursery, her screaming made all the other mids upset too, and when they tried to take her out of the room she threw a total fit. She wouldn't even let her buddy (who she loves) hold her. I've seriously never seen a child have a melt down like Elise does.

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  3. that should say all the other kids, not mids.

    Sheesh.

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  4. I like Meri's idea too :) If you're pretty sure the schedule isn't going to work, maybe it's time to find a new service...I know that's hard, but church is so important!!!!!

    Moms are THE BEST!!!! I miss my mama so much...I wish she could be here all the time. I've only seen her twice since we moved 3 years ago...sniff...sniff...

    Give your mom a hug from me :)

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  5. Hi to Elise's Gma from Addy's Gma!

    Wendy had melt downs too. When she went to preschool, I sat in the parking lot with a book. As you can see...she survived! :)

    Although, very hard when you are going through it.

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