Wednesday, September 15, 2010

But what if I can't?

I think I was born with too few arms. Or maybe I'm missing some hands. I'm not sure, but what I do know is that life with a newborn and a toddler with D is HARD.

Right now my Mom is here, and that's been a good thing. Because I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to do this when it's just me. Elise is a great help, but there are things she just can't do by herself. She can't give herself a shot (though she wants to). She can't count her own carbs. Most of the time she won't eat unless supervised.

Mattias LOVES to eat, and if I let him, he would nurse 24 hours a day I think. I'm not really one for feeding on demand; I prefer trying to adhere to a schedule when it comes to feedings, but I will never deny my baby if that is what he needs. Right now I spend a great deal of my day feeding Mattias and luckily my Mom is there to prepare Elise's food, give a shot or test a BG.

But how will I do it by myself?

I know there are those of you out there who do it, and I know that I will do it too. Because there is no other choice. But it still scares me.

This morning around 6:00 am, just as I was starting to feed a very frantic and hungry baby; Eileen decided to ask for some attention too. Fred was already gone because he had an early flight, so it was just me (well, my Mom was here, but asleep in her room).

I didn't want to put Mattias down because he was screaming from hunger, so I brought him with me to Elise's room and let him go to town on my pinkie finger to keep him quiet. That presented me with a problem... since I was cradling him with one arm, and he had a hold of my other hand, that left me with nothing to pick up Eileen and check out what the alarm was for.

What do I do? I knock Eileen of Elise's shelf with my elbow and press the OK button with my toe. I then clear the alarm, again with my toe, and pick Eileen up with my foot and place her on the bed. I guess I do have an extra pair of hands after all (fred calls them monkey feet). Now if I could just learn to give a shot with my foot...

All joking aside, I know it's going to take a lot of organization, creative problem solving, and a sense of humour to get through these next couple of months.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

I hope.


  1. Do you have a Moby wrap? I think that was my saving grace with transitioning from one child to two with a VERY ACTIVE three year old. Isaac would nurse in it, sleep in it, just be happy as a clam in it and then when he got to be too big for it comfortably (for me) we bought the ergo and used it as often. Actually I nursed him in it while walking around Victoria when he was just four months old. I think the best thing is to keep your sights on what matters and let the rest go. Dishes don't matter, clean floors are useless...just take care of those sweet babes and rest whenever possible :)

  2. Yup, I'm with Sarah...some kind of wrap that keeps him nestled to you and gives you freedom to use your arms!

    I wish that made all your worries better...I know you are concerned about doing this on your own. But you know what...What if you can?? Bet you can. I'm putting money on are that awesome. Hello! Monkey feet! Who else has those skills!! ((HUGS)) friend!

  3. I KNOW you can do it. Lots of us have been there too. It is a challenge to get used to taking care of a new baby, a toddler, and Diabetes. But, YOU can do it, my friend. :-)

  4. I was just going to comment to get a ring sling or mobi wrap and when he gets a bit bigger a mei tai (check out dream carriers

    but Sarah beat me to it. Something where you can have two hands free and baby can still nurse is a must IMO for a mother of two or more D or no D.

    There will be days of stretching and growing but you can do this! You have exactly what each of your babies need, that is why God chose you to be their mother. The Bible tells us that we already have everything we need for life and godliness. (see 2Peter 1:3) I think we just need to lean on God to show us where it all is. I know my stuff gets lost sometimes and I forget that He has already given me what I need to get through each situation that comes my way. You, my friend are going to rock this! Don't forget to just enjoy this season and the beauty that comes with it! Drink in all of those baby smells (the head especially) and sweet little noises.

  5. Oh hon, I KNOW you can. These days are hard, but you will look back on them and have them as memories of when you DID IT. You will figure it out. You are a rockin DMom and will continue to do so my dear.

  6. YOU CAN DO just takes a little getting use to. Give it a few weeks, a few months to find your rhythm and don't be so hard on yourself!!

    I felt the same way for every single baby that I brought in that door :)

    YOUR CANADIAN FOR-GOODNESS-SAKES you can do anything!!

    GOOD LUCK and make sure to get a lot of rest....ya!!

  7. I agree whole-heartedly with the wrap suggestion! It's a huge help!

    Joanne, I know it's going to be tough. Leo was only 7 months when Lily was diagnosed and still wanted to nurse all the time! But, you can and will do just fine! You'll be able to look back and be so proud of yourself for all you accomplish during this time. Hang in there!

  8. I have nothing to offer in the way of advice but I am here for you sweet friend. :)
    See you Saturday!

  9. I have nothing to offer either just to say I am here if you need an ear . take care my friend and it will all work out and yes i see mamas in the grocery with those slings and honestly I think it is the best thing since sliced bread .

  10. I, too, was going to suggest a wrap or a sling.

    When my third baby was born, my "older" two were only 2 and 3.5. And I was on bedrest, because I had a blot clot in my leg. I didn't know how I was going to pull through and meet the needs of each child. Somehow, I made it. You will, too. You'll figure it out, and it'll get easier with each passing day.

    Keep repeating your mantra: I think I can, I think I can.

    I KNOW you can! :)

  11. I can't even imagine how hard it is or it will be. I know you can do it though. I will keep you in my prayers. :)

  12. Memories long forgotten just came rushing into my brain after reading this!!

    All I can say is that I wore my other two ALOT. It became perfectly normal to get dressed and then put my baby on in our Maya Wrap.

    I always nursed on demand...mainly because trying to get into a schedule felt impossible. It's been a little over three years since my last baby and I **think** I may finally have us in a good routine now :)

    I have had 3 babies. My younger two both came after D. It's a challenge, but one I know you're going to rise above and dominate!!!

    Cuz you're good like that!

    Hang in there, my friend!!!!

  13. WOW...great advice. I am just here to let you know I am cheering you on from Vermont. Keep up the great work "Monkey Feet"!!!

  14. WOW...great advice. I am just here to let you know I am cheering you on from Vermont. Keep up the great work "Monkey Feet"!!!

  15. My eyes welled up with tears reading your post because I remember the overwhemed feeling I felt when Joshua came and I had Jackson at home. (this was pre D). I can only think of how overwhelming it is for you right now. PLEASE know that I BELIEVE in you and I know you can do it!! The slings are wonderful adn there are days I wish I still had one to put Joshua in. The first few months are the HARDEST for sure. One suggestion is to spend and hour when Fred gets home and package some snacks, PRE MEASURED in a bag so when E needs something you can give the bag to her already counted... Not much help but a little bit. Also YOU MUST take 30 mins a day for your self. Reading blogs, a magizine, a walk. something you will go stir crazy with out it! YOU CAN DO THIS and I am here for you!

  16. Going from one kid to two was way hard for me - totally rocked my world. And my 2nd was really demanding from the beginning. But once I learned how to split my attention it got easier, and the third was a piece of cake! Or maybe it is just all a blur now...who's to say?!
    Good luck!

  17. At times it may feel like you can't do this or that it is too much to handle, but you can!!! I promise you, it will all be ok.

    I remember when Miss E was first diagnosed, Lil Miss C was just 6 months old and I felt overwhelmed and terrified. In time though, routines just worked themselves out. It's not always easy, but it gets easier.

    Big hugs to you my friend...I will be keeping you and your precious little ones in my thoughts!!!


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