Sunday, April 10, 2011

My week in bullet points

Sigh, at the risk of sounding like a broken record... could somebody please tell me that it gets better? That's not to say there weren't some good points to this past week... I'm just tired that the bad seems to always outweigh the good.

The not-so-great:

-I had to take Mattias to a GI doc in the seemingly never-ending quest to figure out why this boy won't eat. It has been frustrating, to say the least and I broke down crying in two different doctor's offices in as many days. We are now scheduled to see a nutritionist, speech therapist and do some video-swallow test. Here medical community, do you just want a blank cheque?

-Elise was with me during the appt., and when the GI doc found out she had diabetes, he asked if it was under control. Sigh.

-Mattias had two 8 hour stretches in which his diapers were completely dry, despite being nursed and fed solids. In between that stretch, he had one diaper that was so saturated, it fell off of him. Which would have freaked me out if not for the dry diapers (they all happened in a row).

-Mattias has not gained any weight (maybe 2 oz.) in three weeks.

-Fred is in Las Vegas (Hi Lexi!) for a week. That is a lot of alone time.

-Why is it when Fred is out of town, the kids both wake up crying at the EXACT same time? Last night it was 1:00 am, Mattias was hungry, and Elise was... awake. And cried off and on until 4:00 am. And went low during that time. Me so tired.

-All the docs who have seen Mattias for his "eating-problem" tell me that I must not be producing enough milk. I have been doing everything in my power (short of rx drugs) to keep my supply up, but their advice is to "rest, de-stress, and get some sleep". Bahahahahaha.

-Not being able to feed my baby makes me feel like a complete failure.

The Good:

-I will tentatively report that Mattias seems to be eating solids a bit better. It just depends on the day. Is it normal that one day he likes something and the next he refuses to eat it? Elise would always eat everything I gave her, so this is all new to me.

-Fred and I enjoyed a nice afternoon by
taking the kids to a baseball game. A good time was had by all.

-My Mom is coming in 16 days. So excited!

-As I type this, Mattias is napping and Elise is cleaning her playroom without being asked. My kids are awesome.

-My wonderful friend Melissa dropped by today with a nice, frosty Starbucks drink. Just the pick-me-up I needed. Melissa rocks!

On a weird side note, I've noticed that comments I've made on your blogs are not showing up for some reason. I know I'm sleep deprived, but I also know for sure that I have been leaving comments... to the point of knowing exactly what I wrote. Blogger has been acting really weird for me lately, so I don't know if this is part of it. Just know that I am reading and commenting!


  1. I would love to tell you it gets better, but then I would be lying.

    Wait, wait! Don't lose all hope just yet. Hang on.

    Because this is a season, my dear. Albeit a very long, arduous and rather crappy season . . . the promise lies in that another season will follow this and by the laws of motherhood it HAS to be . . . well . . . different. Which means better, right?!

    Please don't jump ship just yet.

    Look! You were still able to eek out some pretty awesome 'GOODS' in your bullet-point heavy post. That's freakin' fantastic!

    I am happy to hear your Mama is coming. She will make it all better. Or, she can watch the kids while you go have a date with a nice tall drink on the rocks ;)

    Love ya lady . . .

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  3. Hope things get better. I feel like my life cycles. A couple great weeks and then a couple crazy, hectic, sleep deprived ones...

    Just a random thought-- I've noticed my milk supply is affected by my cycles and I found a rather surprising cure for it. If you think that might be part of your problem, let me know and I'll send you details.

  4. Hi,
    Sorry about all the eating problems. I had a baby that couldn't get anything much from nursing, despite the fact that the other four did great. You get so obsessed about wet diapers, and trying to figure out if it is wet or dry. But, I'm glad to hear that there was a soaked one in there -- that's good news. We ended up going on formula -- and she could suck that right down, where as the breast simply was not best. I remember being exasperated by the whole experience. Trying like the dickens to nurse, pump, what have you. But, when I finally just let it go, and gave formula (which I was totally fighting) things went along great -- and the upside was that the formula got her sleeping through the night much sooner than any of my other kids.

  5. Isn't it amazing how after having one child, another comes along and is so different from the first that it is like starting over. You are doing an amazing job!! Hang in WILL get better.

  6. I'm on the tail end of my husband being in Las Vegas for 10 days. He comes home Tues. I feel your pain ;)

  7. Wow! I remember the days of having a little one and a not so little one and wanting to pull my hair out. Nothing as big as what you are dealing with, so I am totally impressed you aren't bald! :)
    Both my girls did the 'love it one day, hate it another' thing and it was maddening! They did eventually make clear choices and thus made it easier for me since it was obvious what they would and wouldn't eat consistently. It did take a couple of months to go through the process, though...sorry!
    Hang in there!!

  8. I'm a bit extra sleep can't comment fully on everything, but wanted to say that both of my kiddos were weird about eating where they'd either eat a ton or eat nothing...I've decided it's their way of being independent from early on :)
    Glad your ma is coming soon and that you got to enjoy a frosty Starbucks, always a joy!

  9. Oh, Joanne! Eating issues are one of the worst things ever, aren't they? Lily had major problems. She gagged on EVERYTHING! It took months before we found anything that she could eat without gagging and losing it all. But...eventually, we did find stuff she'd eat and it's gotten a whole lot better! So, there is hope in that area!

    Hang in there, Joanne!

  10. You must be so exhausted! I am wondering if you have a service in your state like First Steps? They are wonderful and help by supplying nutritionists and therapists for adaptive skills (eating), large and fine motor skills and speech. My daughter was developmentally delayed and a therapist came to my house every week for 2 months. We paid very little for this service. I have friends who have received help for eating issues and failure to gain weight.
    In the meantime, I pray you will be able to get some sleep soon and that the baby gets easier. xo

  11. I wish I had some great advice for you, but unfortunately I don't. All I can tell you is hang in there and this too shall pass! Glad to hear there was some good and that your mom will be there to visit you soon (moms always have a way of making things better)!

  12. How I wish you were here in Vegas too so I could give you a big ol hug!!

    Praying some answers are found for Mattias' eating situation. And you get some deserved rest!! Xoxo

  13. Maddison was about 4 months when she "quit eating" and I was then told that the large lump I had removed from my breast likely took out alot of mammary glands and caused a milk shortage! WHAT? It was a HORRIBLE time, I feel your pain! I SO didnt want to quit breast feeding so early! Hang in there...Im hoping he turns the corner and elieviates some stress in your already stressed out days!

  14. Big Hugs! I wish I had some life changing advice but..all I can say is hang in there WILL get better! I also wish I lived nearby..I would come have a sleepover with Addison..let Elise and Addison keep each other Mattias..and let you take a LOOOOOONG bath. Take care...
    btw..don't you just LOVE it when you are told to de-stress and get some more if people!

  15. Just reading that made me exhausted. I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now. I hope you find some answers as to why Mattias is having trouble eating and I hope you can get some rest soon!

  16. Rest, destress and get some sleep -- if only it were that easy! I'm sorry you're going through so much. I wish there was something I could do to help. Glad to hear your mom is coming for a visit. :)


  17. Just remember that I am catching up on your blog so in case this doesn't apply anymore, disregard...I am using this stuff called "Organic Mother's Milk" that promotes healthy lactation. It has definitely worked for me. I ordered a case of it on Amazon. It's a tea that you drink 3-5 times a day...I usually only drink it 2-3 times a day but it still works. It tastes terrible (like black licorice) but it's worth it! :)


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