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Monday, June 29, 2009

I fear change

I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments. I truly appreciate all your advice and prayers.

I should have explained that one of the reasons we don't want to change insulin is because things are going so well right now. Except for a few blips due to illness, Elise's BG numbers have been really good. And for the first time I feel like I have a handle on things.

Going back to square one really frightens me. With NPH, I know what I'm doing. I have an understanding of how the insulin works. Switching means starting over and the memory of those first months are burned in my brain with such intensity, I actually start feeling sick to my stomach thinking about it.

I know that you guys all know what I'm talking about. Trying to find the dose that works and the completely crazy numbers that follow until you do. It's all too fresh for me to want to go back and do it again this soon.

And like I said before, what we're doing now is working and I'm enjoying that wee bit of normalcy in our lives. I think if we were not having good numbers on the NPH, I would be more open to change.

As for the pump, I just don't feel ready for it. One day; but not right now.

Elise does seem to be feeling better; she woke up with a BG if 155, but on a whim I checked for ketones and she was at .8. Weird. They were gone by 10:45, so I have no idea what that was about. Can you have a relatively normal BG and ketones at the same time?

4 comments:

  1. Change is SO scary! For the longest time, there was no way that I thought we would consider the pump until Jada was much older and now she is asking for it and suddenly hates taking her shots. If she's ready- I'm ready! Hopefully soon we'll be able to head in that direction. We've never used NPH, it's always been lantus and novolog- very easy- flexible to a point. She gets lantus and novolog at breakfast- novolog at lunch and dinner. If she's low- she may not even get a shot. At snack time, if she's high, she gets carb free. Give yourself some time- I always have to- I despise change! ;)
    As far as the ketones- last fall Jada got sick and had a low grade fever. Her blood sugars were great and I wasn't concerned. In the middle of the night, she woke up puking. I checked ketones and they were through the roof! She only threw up once and I think she threw up because of the ketones. So- basically, if Elise's little body is trying to fight something- it takes extra energy and we all know what happens when their bodies can't burn sugar for fuel- it heads for the fat and causes those crazy ketones.
    Hang in there! This disease can be a BEAR! Lots of hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I only wanted to share an alternative with you. That's all :)

    Please don't let the devil shake your confidence. You are perfectly capable of managing Elise on 2 shots a day, 4 shots a a day, or a pump. Because YOU are her mother. And mother's can do amazing things!

    Of course it's overwhelming to think about going back to those early days...but you've come a long way. A very long way. You won't EVER return to that time. You know too much now. You've learned about the game and you're winning.

    How do you know you're winning?

    Because your sweet baby is alive.

    Diabetes is a very long journey. Technology has made great strides that can offer your family a little more flexibility and freedom. When you're ready, just know that there's an entire network who will support you.

    Pray about it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Our Endo has told us in the past that it is common for diabetics and non diabetics alike to wake up with what he called "starvation ketones". This happens because we go a long stretch at night without eating!

    ReplyDelete

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