"I just hate this so much".
Elise said this to me today as I was changing her pants and underwear for the second time in three hours. Her blood sugar has been soaring after lunch for some reason, and today Fred and I got busy cleaning out the garage to remember to ask Elise if she needed to go potty.
She was having too much fun helping us, and didn't want to go inside. Both times she stared to bawl, telling me she was sorry. I hugged her and told her that it wasn't her fault. That when her blood sugar is high, it makes her body need to go pee pee more often. I let her know that we weren't mad, and we should have been the ones to take her to the potty.
That's when she told me that she hated this (diabetes). It's enough to make your heart wither and die.
And yesterday I noticed she had been in a funk all morning. In an attempt to draw her out, I took her grocery shopping with me; just us girls. It was like pulling teeth trying to get her to talk.
First she said she was sad that Mattias's eyes weren't changing colour (she has green, he has blue, and she wants his to look like hers. Anyway you look at it, it's a strange thing to say).
Then she said she was sad she didn't have a sister. Mmmm, okay. We'll get right on that.
Then she lowered her head and was very quiet. And in a very small voice she said, "I don't like having diabetes. I want to be like all the kids at school. I don't want to have this."
I said most of the same things I had said the other day. She asked me why she has diabetes. I told her I didn't know. I told her that diabetes is a part of her. A hard part, but one that makes her so special. She seemed to think about this, and as we held hands and walked into the store she told me,
"I am special. I have diabetes. God loves me and you and Poppa love me and diabetes helps me to be special."
She seemed okay from that point on, but I wondering... is it normal for a 3 year old to be this consumed by it? I understand being sad every once in awhile, but she has said something almost every day.
When did your child start being sad/angry about diabetes? How often do they mention it? I'm wondering if I should take Elise to see a professional to help her with these feelings. Has anyone done this? Does anyone have any other tips that I could use to help Elise?
It's just breaking my heart and I don't know how to help her.
6 hours ago