Sunday, August 21, 2011

I don't think I can do this

*** Warning... vent ahead***

Fred has left on a business trip again. It's just me, the kids and diabetes. And it seems everybody is intent on misbehaving. Yes, even me.

Long story shot, Mattias will not nap. Will not sleep. All he does is SCREAM when I put him in his crib. Tonight he has screamed for almost three hours. And of course diabetes is being a pain in the ass, so all I can do is leave him scream, because Elise's BG is running low and the dexcom keeps alerting me.

He calms down when I rock him, but I can't be tied up like that because I need to be free to do BG checks and treat lows. I haven't slept at all in the last few nights and I seriously feel like I'm loosing my shit.

Right now it's 11:00 at night and I still haven't eaten dinner. I should probably be eating instead of rambling on like an insane person, but I'm too tired to even throw something together.

I think he might have stopped screaming, but if he follows the trend of the last few nights, he'll be starting up again soon.

Plus, there's that low BG that just won't go away.

I seriously don't think I can do this.


  1. You can do this. I promise.

    Glass of wine?

    Praying the night gets better and the days until Fred gets home go FAST.

  2. yes, yes you can...and you will. it will suck, but you will make it through til fred gets home.
    sending you tons of hugs & love, my friend!

  3. Oh, I so wish I could be there to make you dinner or take him for a walk for you or even just sit with you and cry...these 4000 miles stink.

    Praying for you!

  4. Awe hugs honey . You can do this . My husband would leave on business and then I would no doubt have a low while the kids were getting ready for bed or trying to do something they should not have and then bam . It does get better trust me . Things will be back to normal soon .

  5. You can do this honey. Where can you get some help while Fred is away? Is there a neighbor? An older mother who lives on your street? I want you to get someone in your house who can help you - either with Matthias or with Elise. I would seriously jump my butt into the car if you lived closer. You can do this, but maybe a little help will help you. Call someone. Sending you love my friend.

  6. Joanne, you are seriously one of the strongest people I know, you have already proven that time and time again. I'm sorry you're having to do this by yourself (or at all, really!). I am praying that while Fred is gone things settle down and take it easy on you. I have a bunch of wishes for you, but those don't do any good. I WISH I had a car so I could come and help you. I WISH I could take one or the other or both off your hands for the day so you could rest! I wish, I wish... All I can do right now is pray! Love you, lady!

  7. Ugh - I remember those days - the 2yr old and the older child's T1 with Dad gone. UGH!

    Can you give Mattias some Ibuprofen before nap and bed? Perhaps it is his teeth bothering him? You need to do something so you can sleep too.

  8. @ Becky V - I gave him some Ibuprofen last night and it didn't seem to help... unless it took 2.5 hours to kick in. It may be teething, but it's hard to tell. He won't let me get a good look. He still doesn't have any teeth (following in his sister's footsteps who didn't get her first tooth until 16 months).

  9. Oh, the flashbacks.

    I hope things have settled a bit this morning.

    There WILL come a day that you'll back and wonder how in the world you ever did this.

    Because you WILL do this.

    I'm saying a prayer for your sanity right now. Stopping the world and hitting my knees.

    Just know you're stronger than you think you are, my friend.

  10. ((((HUGS)))) hope things are better

  11. :( You can do it. You are so much stronger than you think you are. And things will get better. I'm sending happy thoughts and lots of strength to you!!

  12. You CAN do this and you WILL do this!!!

    Maybe have the baby checked for an ear infection...sometimes the laying down really bothers their ears if there's an infection. Just a suggestion!

  13. I am so sorry. It sucks being a single mom, even when it is temporary.


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