Just stuff

First off, I've been meaning to post a HUGE thank you to Nicole for the sweet present I received in the mail. I love it and love you for sending it, my wonderful friend! Sorry I'm so late in posting about it.

Yesterday we had one of those days. You know, scary high numbers that totally came out of left field. They continued through the night and Elise woke up in the upper 300s with 1.3 ketones. I managed to get everything under control by lunch, but man... days like that can really take the wind out of your sails. Especially since things have been so amazing lately.

And I saved the best for last. Our trip to San Francisco is coming up! We leave on Thursday and I am so excited I just may pee myself a little before we leave. I haven't had a vacation since I was 6 months pregnant with Elise. We'll be staying at the house of some friends of ours (who will be away for 4 out of the 6 days we're there... woo-hoo free hotel!), and getting to hang out with some other old friends we haven't seen in awhile (we used to live in SF). The daughter of the people we are staying with is who Elise is named after... and I cannot wait for the two of them to meet. The other Elise is now 8 and I think my Elise will just adore her.

And the best part of all? I get to meet MERI!!! Sweet, wonderful, superstar, the-sister-I-never-had... MERI! I am so excited I just DID pee my pants a little!

So that's my post of "just stuff". If you could, please pray that our trip goes smoothly with no flight issues and especially no BG issues!

One year of death

It occurred to me that today is this blog's one year anniversary. I should buy a cake so I can eat the whole thing myself.

I have travelled a very long road in one year, but I'm happy to say I'm better for it. I hate the disease, but love the people it has brought into my life.

I'll never forget the first person who I didn't know in real life to comment. Her name is Maria, and although she doesn't have a T1 kiddo, her brother and sister grew up with it. She was the first "stranger" to reach out to me, and was my biggest cheerleader early on.

Penny was the first Mom of a child with T1 to comment... and she opened the door to a whole blog-load (is that a word? It is now) of people who I've never met, but count among my closest friends.

I would love to name everybody who has touched my life for the better in this post, but I need to wrap it up here. My house doesn't seem to be cleaning itself.

Happy one year, Death of a Pancreas... looking forward to the day that I won't need you anymore.

Phoning it in

Yup, I'm being lazy again and just posting the link to my other blog for our cutting-down-of-the-Christmas-tree story and pictures. Click here if you are so inclined.

Why I am the way I am

I am weird. I know that and am quite comfortable with it. I have never fit in with the status quo, and am happy to do things differently than everyone else; if it works for me.

I am learning that this is also true in the way that I deal with Elise's diabetes.

And I feel the need to explain myself a little.

From day 1 of Elise's dx, I have thrown myself into the world of diabetes. I've read books, blogs, websites, message boards. Tried to absorb every word to help me understand this disease. I read all that I can about nutrition and meal planning, learning about complex carbs, protein, fats, good versus bad carbs and glycemic indexes.

I calculate every little carb that goes into Elise's body. I am armed with a calculator, pen and a piece of scratch paper every time I prepare food.

I use a scale. All the time. Everything Elise eats (that has carbs) is weighed. And I take that scale with me everywhere I go. Yes Meri, even to Chick-fil-a.

I use carb factors every day, every meal and every snack. And yes, if that piece of bread has 7.71g of carbs, I add the 7.71 to the 3.10g of soynut butter, to the 4.14g of grapes to get approximately 15g of carbs for Elise's snack.

And I am so okay with the fact that you are now staring at your computer screen in complete disbelief that there is someone out there who could be that anal retentive about things. And you might be saying to yourself, "oh my gosh, this woman must be a nightmare to live with!"

Why is this post starting to sound like a Talking Heads song? (and you may ask yourself, where is my beautiful house?)

Anyway, I do all this because I just might be a little bit insane. But also because it's how I am. I want to do it well, or not do it at all. And for me, when it comes to Elise's health, you bet I am going to do my best to make sure I have good control over her numbers.

I try to do it in a way that is laid-back and not overly intense. I know it sounds so over-the-top and control-freaky, but I really try to make it not seem like a big deal.

I haven't been exposed to that many D-Moms, so I have no idea how other people handle things. I've just aways done it this way and never given it any thought. It wasn't until I had lunch with Laura and Nate the other day that it dawned on me that there are other ways to figure out carbs.

But you know what? I'll keep doing it the way I'm doing it. Because it's working. I realize I have the luxury of only having one kid and not working outside the home. My view on all this might change if we ever expand our little clan.

So for now, I will stick to my weird ways... because I love that old adage, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". And you will keep doing it the way that works for you. And what is neat is that this disease isn't one size fits all and we have to be resourceful and creative about how we treat it.

Even if it puts us up for the Anal Retentive Mom of the Year Award.

Thankful for good numbers

It's no secret that I've sort of been dreading the holidays. For the first time in my life I'm griping about how all of these days are centered around food. Carb-heavy food. Lots of sugar and other things that are just not the best thing for Elise to be eating.

It's a frustrating task, to say the least. Trying to count all those Thanksgiving carbs. Especially when you're not the one making the majority of the food. But my wonderful friend Pam, who knows a bit about diabetes, took on the job of figuring out the carbs in most of the dishes she made. What a blessing it was!

I brought the pumpkin pie and stuffing, all carefully carb-factored. I have to say I was very pleased with how the pie turned out. I used agave nectar instead of sugar and I really couldn't tell the difference in the taste. I'm hoping to post my recipe (with carb counts, of course!) soon.

The stuffing also turned out pretty well, and Elise really liked it. Of course she would... the more carbs something has, the better! She is definitely a bread and pasta kind of girl.

But the numbers were really worrying me. I had no idea how all these new foods would affect Elise. I'm happy to report that her numbers were nothing short of spectacular!

8:10 am - 91
12:15 pm - 90
3:24 pm - 125
4:59 pm - 142
7:44 pm - 121
10:39 pm - 250 (Okay, so that one is high, but I'll chalk it up to the pumpkin pie)

And she woke up this morning at 92. Those numbers make all the weighing, calculating and figuring it out so worth it.

I hope your Thanksgiving was a good one and filled with great numbers too!

Almost everything you wanted to know about Joanne (but in reality don't really care about)

Meri, Meri, Meri... I was flying under the radar, nary a person had tagged me to do this. Then, BAM! My name shows up on your blog. And now it's a challenge. So here goes:

1. Do you like bleu cheese? Yes I do. Especially in a yummy salad. Mmmm, Maggiano's chopped salad!

2. Have you ever smoked? Nope. Nasty, nasty habit. Yes I am one of those people. It just is so gross to be around.

3. Do you own a gun? Care to find out? I DO live in Texas, after all

4. Favorite type of Food? This is a hard one... probably Italian. Or Chinese.

5. Favorite type of music? I'm all over the map on this one. Just no rap or country and I'll be okay.

6. What do you think of hot dog? Sigh... turn of brain and just eat it. Ignorance is bliss. Sometimes...

7. Favorite Christmas movie? Either National Lampoon Christmas Vacation, or Muppet Family Christmas. My Dad taped it of off the TV back in the 80s, and I watch it every year. Fred once bought me the real DVD, but I discovered it had scenes missing. Yes, the TV version had more content than the version released from the studio. Weird. So I just watch the version my Dad taped all those years ago (Fred had it transferred onto DVD). And, I get to watch all those awesome 80s commercials!

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Orange juice, with added calcium.

9. Can you do push ups? Sure.

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? I don't really wear any except for my wedding and engagement rings.

11. Favorite hobby? Sports. Maybe writing

12. Do you have A. D. D.? No

13. Do you wear glasses/contacts? Yes... I am so very blind without them.

14. Middle name? I do have one, thanks for asking.

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment: 1) I have a headache. 2) Is it proper to show up to Thanksgiving dinner in my yoga pants? 3) What will dinner do to Elise's BG?

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink: Water and orange juice. That's it.

17. Current worry? Our upcoming trip next week

18. Current hate right now? Headaches

19. Favorite place to be? Laying in bed with my husband, laughing about silly stuff when we really should be sleeping.

20. How did you bring in the new year? Probably asleep. I can't remember.

21. Someplace you’d like to go? Australia/New Zealand

22. Name three people who will complete this. I will not name names.

23. Do you own slippers? Shirly do... I'm wearing them right now!

24. What color shirt are you wearing? White

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? I never have. I think it would be too slippery.

26. Can you whistle? Yup.

27. Where are you now? In the office/2nd bedroom

28. Would you be a pirate? Too dirty/smelly

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? Whatever pops into my head.

30. Favorite Girl’s Name? Elise, silly.

31. Favorite boy’s name? I liked Liam, before Liam became cool. But Fred has told me if we have a boy and name him Liam, then his middle name has to be the letter O. As in Liam O' and our last name. So no little Liam for me.

32. What is in your pocket right now? No pockets

33. Last thing that made you laugh? Elise talking about making a farty.

34. What vehicle do you drive? Isuzu Rodeo

35. Worst injury you’ve ever had? I have had too many to pick. The one I remember the most is breaking my shin bone when a guy kicked me in the shin (yes I was wearing shin guards) playing soccer a few years ago. It was on a Saturday night and I didn't want to go to the ER (I didn't think it was broken), so I waited until Monday to go to my doctor. She took one look at the x-ray and just shook her head and told me get some crutches. It was a hairline fracture, so there wasn't much they could do.

36. Do you love where you live? In a word, no. Not at all. Probably not ever. That was more than "a" word, wasn't it?

37. How many TVs do you have in your house? Two, but no cable.

38. How many computers do you have in your house? One

39. If you changed your job, what would it be? I think I'd like to go back to school to get a nursing degree and become a CDE. I think it's very hard for CDEs to empathize with the families unless they live it. So we end up dealing with CDEs that make me want to go down to the endo's office and kick their asses. Yes, they piss me off that badly.

40. If you were granted three wishes, what would they be? 1) A cure, a cure... my kingdom for a cure 2) To be in a place financially where Fred didn't have to work 3) To be able to fly. Because THAT would be cool.

So THAT'S why they call it Thanksgiving...

Every year our church puts on a pancake breakfast on Thanksgiving morning. And every year since we started attending our church, we have gone to said breakfast. Because there is no way we pass up food that someone else has cooked.

They also have a tradition of passing around a mic, so that whomever feels led, can talk a little about what they are thankful for. As much as I wanted to speak my piece, I don't really fancy crying in front of people that I don't know very well.

So I thought my blog would be an apt place to post what I am thankful for. That way nobody has to witness the mess my face becomes when the water works start.

Of course I am thankful for my husband. I cannot stress enough how much he does for our family. Elise and I are blessed.

I am thankful for Elise. She is, in a word, amazing. And sweet, loving, smart, hilarious, kooky, and just a blast to be around.

I am thankful for his job that gives us medical insurance. Insurance that helps us afford to keep our daughter alive.

I am thankful for medical advancements and all the scientists out there working towards a cure. Thankful that I live in a time where diabetes is not a death sentence.

I am thankful for the roof over my head, food to eat, and a car that gets me where I need to go. And everything else that God has entrusted to me.

It really is a wonderful life.

Thanksgiving questions

This is our first year to do Thanksgiving with Elise (last year we opted for the uber-traditional Thanksgiving fondue... yummy!), and some friends have invited us over for dinner. I'll be bringing some food, but my friend will be doing the majority of the cooking. Of course I can't ask her to count the carbs for me in each recipe, but I thought some of my D-Sistas who use carb factors might be able to help me out.

I'm looking for an approximate carb factor for the following: gravy, stuffing and/or dressing (and if someone knows the difference, please tell me), pumpkin pie, and apple pie (if you know the carb factor for just the filling, that would be tops).

I know each recipe differs, but if I could figure out a generic carb factor for each, that would give me some place to start. Thanks much and Happy Turkey.

Blessed are the husbands

I am so thankful to be a part of this wonderful group of D-Mommas. I tell anyone who will listen that I would not be as mentally balanced as I am without you guys. Diabetes is such an isolating disease, and it's not a battle we should fight on our own.

But then I think of my husband. A wonderful partner. An amazing provider. The best father a little girl could ever ask for. And it occurs to me that he is all on his own in this.

Yes, he has me. And we make a really good team. But he doesn't have the camaraderie of other guys. He doesn't have a safe place to go where he can rant and unload his troubles. Where he can talk to men that understand, who are having the same struggles, and would just love to kick diabetes in the groin too.

I don't actually think a guy would kick diabetes in the groin... it's a little too close to home. Maybe just give diabetes an super-atomic wedgie.

I've asked my husband about not having D-Dads to relate to and he just shrugs his shoulders and says it's okay. But my heart still hurts for him. I want him to feel the same sense of belonging as I do.

And maybe this is just yet another example of how men are so different from women. Maybe he just doesn't need the same thing I do.

How does your husband cope with this disease?

A friend indeed

Fred, Elise and I just came back from hanging out with Laura and her kiddos. All I can say is I am so happy to have this incredible woman in my life. From the first time we ever spoke on the phone, our conversations have always come very easily. It's just like talking with an old friend.

We are so different from each other, but so much the same in the ways that matter.

Thanks Laura, for renewing my spirit. For making me laugh. And for being one of my windmills in Holland. Love ya, my D-Sista!