Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Out, out damn spot

There's a spot of blood on the cover of the boppy I used when I nursed Elise. It's small. And it's round. Faded by time. Nonetheless, still there.

I don't know how it came to be there. Probably a remnant from an after-nursing BG test. Sometimes at night, when I would nurse her before bed, she would fall asleep on that boppy.

And we would do one last test, before we carefully carried her to her crib to gently lay her down for the night. Perhaps in one careless moment, we didn't wipe her tiny finger well enough.

I've tried to get it out, but it remains. A reminder of just how little Elise was when she was diagnosed. Only 12 months old.

I pulled out the boppy the other day, one of the many things to clean and get ready for the new baby. And I saw the spot. It took my breath away.

Like Lady Macbeth, I am haunted by the blood. Only the blood I see is real. And it's not going away. Just like my daughter's diabetes, that spot is here to stay.

Out, out damn spot.

Maybe one day.


  1. There is a spot on Joshua's baby blanket and it ticks me off every time I see it too!!

  2. My boys pillowcases have little drops of blood stains on them too.

    I hate that you have a spot on your boppy cover. I hate it. :(

  3. Fels Naptha Soap will get that stain out!

  4. Blood spots on G's sheets. Reminders, constant reminders.

  5. Oh yes it never goes away well maybe some day .

  6. We have little blood spots too. Life with a diabetic. Fun, fun. Amazing how those little tiny blood spots can invoke such strong emotions, isn't it?

  7. Spots here too. On her fairy sheets. I hope that day comes sooner rather than later.

  8. A new cover for a new season is in order I think. The last place that you should be haunted by D is every time you sit down to nurse your new baby. I know in reality we don't ever get to escape D even for a moment but if you should get a moment it should be when you are bonding with your new person.

  9. that hit my gut like a punch.... a haunting why does life has to be sucky punch. no one should have a reminder like that :-/


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