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Thursday, July 15, 2010

Sadness

I've got the diabetes blues and I don't know why.

It's not like anything out of the ordinary has been happening... Elise's numbers have been okay, although not great. But we haven't had any crazy, unexplained highs, or difficult lows (we did have to leave play time at open gym today because her BG would not go up, even after the 20g, and then 18g I stuffed into her).

I just feel beaten up. I feel sad every time I test her BG. I want to cry with every shot she gets. Counting carbs depresses me, and I've shut off all thoughts about what her future holds.

Maybe I'm just overly tired. Maybe it's the pregnancy. It could be due to the fact that we heard back about our insurance and the CGM, and the news wasn't great (covered, but the cost may be prohibitive).

Maybe it's the fact that I feel so poured out, yet I feel like I have nothing to renew my spirit.

It happens to all of us from time to time. It will pass and I will feel better. I know this.

I just need it to be sooner rather than later.

21 comments:

  1. Sending you understanding thoughts, prayers and the knowledge that you are not alone. Tomorrow is a new day. Hugs

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  2. I'm sorry, Jo. I'm right there with you in that pit. Sad, frustrated, angry, tired, just DONE. And yet, I can't be....so I trudge along. I hope you find your way out soon!

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  3. Oh Friend, I'm sorry you're having a rough day.

    I've felt the same way this week. Just tired of it all. And it's only been 4 months for us.

    But to think our kiddos will have this the rest of their lives is overwhelming.

    Know that you're not alone. I'll be praying for you. : )

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  4. Sorry your feeling this way. We all do from time to time. Heck, I am trying to crawl out of my own dark cloud right now.

    Sorry to hear about the CGM... that sucks.

    Keep your held held high... your a great mom. Talk care of yourself :)

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  5. I am with Laura, same.

    I am thinking it must be the summer. It seems like a lot of D-Moms are feeling this way right now. I just feel burned out.

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  6. I hope the grey cloud over all of us passes soon!

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  7. I know that place a little too well..big hugs to you Joanne. It will pass..lets hope it is sooner rather than later!

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  8. Blame it on pregnancy hormones! So sorry you're feeling down. I hope you get a second (or 3rd or 4th etc) diabetes wind soon!

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  9. *cheer up hug* from norway! some days suck..i know!

    some days i want to throw the carb list and calculator far far away..

    love your blog! my doughter is about the same age as yours, and was diagnosed for about four months ago, its great to find other diamoms and blogs :)

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  10. Sorry to hear you have the blues. It happens to the best of us. Sending good cheer and (((HUGS))) your way!

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  11. You are entitled to every feeling. . .pregnant or not. . .I'm sad just on the sidelines thinking about it. . . The cross that you carry is heavy. . .Remember the love you have for your daughter is even stronger, though, than anything.

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  12. Im sorry you are feeling so bad and low Joanne and I hope it all passes soon . I think the heat is getting to all of us . I hope this passes soon too .

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  13. (((BIG FAT HUG)))

    Sending love and understanding to one of my favorite people ever. Love you friend. You know I've been there.

    Same.

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  14. ((hugs)) same...I pray your tomorrow is brighter

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  15. You're doing great... hang in there. When I was pregnant I couldn't stand the way my husband smelled - I forced him to take it easy on the aftershave for the last 3 months. I can't imagine what it must be like for you to be taking care of a child with a condition that requires so much energy. Lots of hugs and lots of sleep!

    Same...

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  16. Big hugs, Joanne! The Diabetes Blues gets felt on both sides sometimes...by the caretaker and the diabetic. It makes for a tough, stressful life, even on the best of days. I hope you can get a little time away (sneak off to a movie by yourself for a couple of hours, maybe?) so you can recharge your batteries! Hang in there!

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  17. it is a sad sucky thing you are fighting. not every day is braveheart. some days are lie down and be inward kind of days. this time of quiet sadness....the bummy blues.. is your hearts way of sighing.. taking it all in...but not holding it in. letting it out too... so you will be able to wake up another time and feel like "i got the tiger by the tail today"...hang in there. *hug*

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  18. I am really sorry you are feeling blue today! Please know Team Davis is sending you lots of love and hugs your way! I wish I had some fablous idea about the CGM but I dont have any experiance with that yet. I think we all get tired of this battle. you are not alone as you have told me so many times!

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  19. I am right there with you, friend! I know JUST how you feel! ((((HUGS)))

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  20. WELL SHIT...I un-plugged due to company and life for a couple of days and missed this...xoxo. I think it is something going around...I have been in a huge "D" Depression this summer - it SUCKS. Hang in there. I am thinking of you...xoxo and more xoxo's

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