Saturday, July 2, 2011

P.S. I'm gonna punch you in the nuts

Dear Diabetes,

It has been awhile since I've felt compelled to write you a letter. But you've been a real pain in the ass lately, and today was the high that broke the camel's back.

You see, Elise was at a birthday party today. We almost didn't go because it was outside at a splash park, and the heat and sun makes her rash feel worse. But we decided to dose her up with some benadryl and let her have some fun.

Except that she didn't. Because of you. I was encouraged when she woke up at a nice 108 this morning (that after a middle of the night correction which she fought, and all the screaming woke up her brother... but that is another bitch session for another time).

But when party time came, she was in the upper 200s and rising. We skipped her snack, hoping that would even things out. She kept going higher. Her tummy hurt. She was crying. She wouldn't pose or smile for any pictures and she spent most of the party huddled on my lap. When she did try to play, the stomach pain was so bad all she could do is stand there, bent at the waist and holding her tummy while she cried out.

You are one shitty disease, diabetes.

When it came time for food, my friend let me know that there was pizza, but she had also ordered some chicken strips for Elise if we wanted those.

We asked Elise if she was hungry. She didn't answer. We asked if she wanted some chicken strips. She said no.

She had seen the pizza, and that was what she really wanted, but didn't want to ask. She knows it's hard on her blood sugars. She knows she doesn't feel good after she eats it (to be clear here, we have NEVER said this to her, and we have never NOT let her eat pizza. She's just smart, and she just knows). We told her if she wanted pizza, then that's what she could have.

I think she just felt too awful to eat, because she just sat on my lap; head resting on my shoulder, while all the other children laughed and played in the water. The juxtaposition between Elise and the other kids was glaringly and heart-breakingly obvious.

The day didn't totally belong to you, diabetes. Elise did get to enjoy some cake; icing and all. Who cares that she ate it in place of her lunch. Or that her BG was 280. She ate it and loved every second of it.

So suck on that, you craptastic piece of trash of a disease. It may be a small victory, but we'll take it. Tomorrow is another day and rest assured I will resume kicking your ass then.

Yours VERY sincerely,
Elise's Pancreas by proxy


  1. UGH! I am so sorry that D had to act like the dick he is. Never a dull moment.

    That was very sweet of your freind to also get her some chic strips. Sounds like a good friend.

    I hope the numbers are behaving today.

  2. P.S. Diabetes . . . . Ppppppffffftttttt on you!

    From another speudo pancreas.

  3. Oh man did that suck or what ? Yep glad Elise still managed to have cake . Yes indeed nice friend to have thought of chicken strips . Yep hope those numbers are not off kilter today . You suck big D and I dont mean Dallas !!!

  4. This so made me cry. It resonated. Diabetes is a huge fucktard!

    Glad she enjoyed that cake anyway.


  5. Aw, Joanne, give Elise a great big hug tonight. What an awful day thing for her to go through. I wonder if the tummy ache was partly from going from high down to normal and back...sometimes I get them when my bgs fluctuate too much too quickly. I hope tomorrow is a much better day for both of you! And so glad Elise got to enjoy that piece of cake!

  6. STUPID FRIGGIN DIABETES! I am so glad that Elise enjoyed the cake and icing though...i hope her belly is feeling back to normal and the highs are GONE...when you're done punching it in the nuts, i would love to kick it square in the ass too

  7. I remember my mother-in-law telling me how awful it was to go on big family trips to visit extended relatives and TJ's BG would be wonky and nobody understood, how they'd ask things like, "isn't he excited to see us?" and she just wanted to scream, "yes but his damn diabetes isn't!" She knew nobody else got it, but I do. I get it for Elise, for Isaac, for TJ, for Sugar, Joe, Nate...and all of the other people with d. It sucks arse when it messes with the simple pleasures in life.
    I'm glad Elise still enjoyed her cake. I hope d behaves a bit more for you guys and her rash clears up quickly, too.
    BTW I sent a guy from the CWD forum here to check out dexcom on younger children and how it works with MDI, too. His name is William :)

  8. SO sad I hate when diabetes takes things away from our kids. I hate that she should of had a wonderful day but diabetes was not playing nice. I hate that pizza makes her feel sick. I guess I just plan out hate diabetes!! But love you guys!!

    Oh and by the way happy Canada Day!!

  9. :( So sorry for Elise. So sorry that she was feeling yucky and so sorry that what should have been a carefree day filled with big fun was just filled with big Poo!

    Hoping she is feeling better today.

  10. Ugh. Hoping today you are back to kicking it's ass.

  11. I hate days like that. So, so much. I'm right behind you in line to give D a good, swift kick!

  12. Sorry Elise wasn't feeling well! I hate that feeling of watching all of the other kids playing and happy while your child feels awful. So frustrating! Glad you told D to go suck it!

  13. diabetes can f*cking suck it.

  14. Diabetes sucks. Especially when your the little girl who can't play with the kids her age because of her diabetes, I've been there.


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