Sunday, July 26, 2009

Thankful for Fred

I need to brag on my husband here. I can't believe it's taken me this long to write a post about him, but I am so blessed to be married to Fred.

What I specifically want to write about is how much of an equal partner he has been through this whole diabetes journey. I don't know that I would have even made it through the diagnoses without Fred there as my anchor and encourager.

I have heard from other Moms how the care for their diabetic child falls squarely on their shoulders. I mean, it makes total sense. We are, after all, the ones that are with them throughout the day. Taking on every challenge, learning about the disease, finding tricks that work, coping with the hardships that diabetes brings. And it becomes so much easier for us to do everything.

From the beginning, Fred was wonderful. He did most of the shots (I was still getting over my needle fear), and we shared in the BG checks. It shouldn't have surprised me, since he's been a very hands-on Dad since Elise was born. But the food and carb-counting were solely my domain, and I came to loathe mealtime.

Fred saw what a burden it was, and wanted to help me. But it was so difficult for me to let go of that control. I work very hard to make sure Elise's meals are healthy, balanced and have the exact carb amount that she needs. And I was sure that nobody could do it as well as I could.

But I also realized that I needed a break. If I had total control over Elise's meals and snacks, that meant I pretty much had to be around all the time. It was time to let go.

Fred started watching as I prepared Elise's food. I wrote down carb factors for all the foods that Elise eats in a notebook that I leave by her scale. I have a bunch of homemade soups in the freezer already portioned out and labelled with their carb amount for a quick, easy meal. Fred now knows a lot of the foods that are easy to prepare and that Elise will eat.

I so, so look forward to the weekends now because Fred pretty much handles everything with Elise's diabetes. I do help out with some of the meal prep, but it's mostly because I'm a total control freak and feel like I need to do something. But most importantly, the option is there for me to not have to. And I know that Elise is going to get the type of care that she would if I was the one doing all the work.

My favourite time is Saturday morning. We get Elise up and I nurse her, but then I get to go back to sleep. Fred started this tradition of a Daddy/Daughter Date every Saturday morning just after Elise was diagnosed. He takes Elise to this cute local bakery and has breakfast with her. Lately he's started asking other Dads and their kids to join him, then they all usually go do something fun together afterwards. Elise comes home, absolutely glowing from all the fun she's had. And most importantly, I get to catch up on some sleep!

I am blessed. I know that. I also know that there are other Moms out the doing most, if not all of the work. You are superstars in my eyes. I honestly don't think I could do it.

And one last piece of (unsolicited) advice; if you have a husband that wants to help, let go of the control you think you need to hold onto, and let him. You deserve the break.

1 comment:

  1. Form a very mature woman, I speak from expierence. Good Husbands are hard to come by. Obviously, you have found a very, very good one!


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