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Sunday, May 16, 2010

One mother's dream


Sunday - Dream a little Dream (life after a cure)

Elise about 1 week before dx

This one was tough for me... to imagine my daughter's life without diabetes, when she has lived longer with it, than without? I can't even remember what life was like before; no shots, no BG checks, no carb counting, no sleepless nights... It's like trying to remember the vapors of your dreams after you have woken up.

Perhaps it's also because I don't let myself think about it. As much as I would like to believe a cure is coming, I'm afraid of what it might do to my heart if five years down the road, things are pretty much as they are now. I remain an eternal realist (or pessimist, as my husband would call me), because an optimist is never pleasantly surprised.

Because I don't want to end such a fun week on a down note, I'll use what little imagination I have left (that watching TV hasn't killed off), and try.

I suppose the first thing I would do is break down and cry. Just the mere thought of it brings tears to my eyes. I would hold Elise in my arms and tell her the good news while weeping tears of absolute joy for her. I would thank God for answering the prayers of a mourning mother. And then I would sleep for about 3 days straight.

And then? Well, then I would throw Elise THE biggest party you've ever seen.

If you've never read Elise's diagnosis story, then you need to know that we received the phone call to take Elise to the hospital in the middle of her party for her first birthday. Yes, she was only one and had no idea what was going on, but I've always felt cheated by that experience.

Now that Elise is older, she LOVES parties, and she LOVES her friends. And it would be such a great way to celebrate.

And since it's MY imagination, and money is no object, I would make it so all my wonderful D-family could be there to par-tay with us. Because who better to share this with than the people who have walked this same difficult road? Ohmygosh, could you imagine the fun we would have?

And of course, we would top everything off with a ceremonial burning of the diabetes supplies.

Is insulin flammable, I wonder?

8 comments:

  1. I am so with you on the burning of the supplies :)Is insulin flammable? Well... I don't know, but lighter fluid would help :)

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  2. I'm so in on the par-tay!!!

    Love ya friend!

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  3. I can't even begin to imagine the party that would commence...

    Part of me is sad. This week is over...and we have to wake up tomorrow.

    Back to reality...and today's daydreaming is over.

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  4. Your initial reaction, to break down and cry and hug her and tell her the good news - I see it. I can picture us all doing it. That would be a wonderful reality.

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  5. We could all burn our supplies! The fire'd be visible from space!

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