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Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Diabetes Olympics

One night, as I was unable to sleep, I began comparing the care of diabetes to Olympic events. And this is the subsequent post that followed. Yes, all I do is write blog posts in my head when I should be sleeping. And yes, I even awarded myself medals.

Shooting (up) - Points are deducted for blood or a wet shot (insulin seeping out of the skin after the needle is removed). I'm pretty good at avoiding both of these, but it's really just a crapshoot.

Result: Silver

Synchronized Living - This is the ability to balance carbs, insulin, exercise, growth spurts, illnesses, and hormones; and still achieve reasonably good numbers.
Result: Some days it's a gold medal and they're playing "Oh Canada" while I stand atop the podium and wave. Other days, it's a big, fat DNF (did not finish).
Speed Getting Ready - I do this twice a week while trying to get Elise to pre-school. It involves getting her up and dressed. Test her blood sugar. Get her shot ready and give it to her. Make her breakfast. Make her snack (actually, three snacks... what she eats depends on what her BG is at snack time). Write a note for her teacher, so she knows which snacks have how many carbs in them. Pack her bag. Get myself dressed. Get Elise to finish her breakfast in less than 30 minutes. Have her go potty, brush her teeth, brush her hair, and put her shoes and jacket on... all of which she needs help with. Get Mattias up, change his diaper and put him in the carseat. Load everyone into the car. On some very special days, add nursing a baby to this list. All of this is done in the span of less than 60 minutes.
Result: Gold, baby!

10 Meter Dash - This is pretty much the distance from our bed to Elise's. I've gotten pretty fast at shooting out of bed and making it to her side when I hear Eileen alarm, or she starts having a night terror episode, or I wake up and realize that we slept though the 2 am alarm. But I get points deducted for a slow start... trying to find my glasses in the dark does tack some seconds onto my time. Then there are the nights that I'm still asleep as I leap out of bed and I run right into a wall. Awesome.
Result: Bronze
WAG-ing - (stands for Wild Ass Guessing) Some people can just look at a piece of cake and be able to tell you how many carbs are in it. I really can't, but I have gotten very good at figuring out an item's carb factor. A lot of times it's just knowing a similar item's carb factor and going from there. But there are those foods that are unlike anything else on earth... You may remember my post on the Best Cake in the World. It was probably a fluke that I got it right on the first try, but it does feel good when you nail the landing.
Result: Silver
Juggling - Now that I have two little minions to take care of, I have learned to become a gold medal juggler (jugglist?). It's what you end up doing when both kids need you at the same time; for example: Elise has just woken up and needs her BG checked, shot given and breakfast made. Mattias has also just woken up and needs his diaper changed,, reflux meds and his morning meal. I usually handle it like this; check the BG, change the diaper, give the shot, give the meds, make the breakfast, nurse one side, give Elise her breakfast (I like there to be some lag time between shot and food), nurse on the other side.
Result: I'd give myself a silver, only because there are some mornings I totally flip out if one more thing gets added to the pile (copious amounts of spit-up resulting in a clothing change for me, Mattias, or both, a potty run, a telephone call... etc.)

Biathlon - Which, of course is the combination of two sports. For me, I find the crap usually hits the fan when I am momentarily indisposed. I've become pretty good at checking a BG, and treating a low, all while nursing Mattias. The key, as any good athlete will tell you, is preparation. This means I carry fast-acting carbs with me at all times. Yes, I've been known to pull a roll of Smarties out of my sock.

Result: Gold

Accuracy - Just a fun little game I play in my head to take the monotony out of checking Elise's BG 10+ times a day. I try to guess what her BG is going to be. It was a lot harder before Eileen joined our team, but I got to be pretty good at it. Of course I had a lot of what-the-crap moments too.
Result: Silver

Wrestling - I don't participate in this sport anymore. Now that Elise is 3, she's a lot more accommodating with her shots. But when she was 12 months old, you should have seen some of the leg holds I had to put on her. Because when you are just one person, and you have to use two hands to give the shot, you become pretty creative in the ways you hold your baby down to administer a shot.
Result: Gold


Swimming - As in "just keep swimming". Usually done on days where you swear you cannot do this for another second. When you are bone tired and there is nobody to take the baton from your hand. When all you want to do is climb up onto your roof and scream the F-word (no, not fine) for as loud and as long as possible. When it seems like the tears will never stop falling. You still kick your legs and flail your arms to keep your head above the water and "just keep swimming". Because you have to.
Result: Total gold medal. I've been doing it every day for 2 years and 2 months now and don't ever plan on stopping. I think that deserves a gold.

Anybody else care to join in on the fun?

14 comments:

  1. Love this post! You definitely deserve a gold in every event as far as I'm concerned! You are awesome! :) Thanks for your comment on my "very personal" post. :)

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  2. WTF? YOU ARE GOLD ALL THE WAY JO!!! I cannot even imagine balancing "d" in a preschooler and a newborn. You D mamas out there that are doing this or that have done this amaze me in every way, shape and form. I was fortunate that Bridget was 5 when Joe was diagnosed at 3...very fortunate indeed.

    GREAT POST. I may have to do a Beta Buddies rendition and get myself off the feminine hygiene products LOL.

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  3. I'm so doing this for my day 4 of NaBloPoMo...thank you very much!! Great Post :) I'm so excited!! And Accuracy we play all the time and love it!!

    Thanks!! :)

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  4. Haha! I do the 10 meter dash only to realize I forgot my glasses and cant see to do crapola.

    What about the High Jump? As in... how high we jump when the D comes a callin!
    GOLD BABY... GOLD!

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  5. You're a gold medalist all the time, every time.
    I chuckled as I read about your days.
    I had a tough enough time managing two non-d-kids. I am awed by your energy and optimism.

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  6. I love this! I'd say you are doing pretty well with this creative post - when I was dealing with D and a newborn, my mind was a jumbled mess! Go for the Gold!! I want to compete in the Olympics too....stay tuned to Life is Like a Box of Chocolates.

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  7. You are awesome! Gold medals all around!

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  8. love the post and we all deserve gold medals for being the mommys that we are yeah !!!!

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  9. SOCK SMARTIES! This whole post was brilliant and I am humming O Canada (don't know the words) in your honor! :D

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  10. WOOT WOOT!!!!

    This is SUCH AN AWESOME post :)

    Loved it....I think D plus newborn is a complete Olympic competition in and unto itself....let alone the rest of life factored in!

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  11. Loved it! Omg'sh, I'm still laughing. You ARE awesome. Much too hard on yourself, girlie! How is that baby?

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  12. This is so funny...you're so quick witted with a newborn, how is that? Are you sneaking in sleep somewhere?!

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  13. These are awesome Joanne! I love your spin on all the things we have to do during the day involving diabetes. I can totally relate. You can definitely follow my blog as well. I live in Kitchener, Ontario...but I am originally from Wisconsin. Are you still in Canada? I would love to chat with you sometime..you have a fantastic sense of humour!

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  14. This is great! Agreed you deserve a gold. So glad I found your blog. When I start to complain about my diabetes and having a 6yo daughter...I will feel blessed that she doesn't have it too. Hats off to you.

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